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I’ve honestly come to the conclusion that approach anxietyis by and far  the biggest killers ofmost PUA’s. That being said, I feel that if most people could simply getover  this hump, the rest of pick upreally wouldn’t be that difficult.

 

Okay, so I understand how it feels, you’ve just stepped footinto the club, it’s loud, there are drunk people everywhere, it’s dark andsomewhat musty and it seems like everyone in the club is having an amazing timeexcept for you. You see a two set of girls out in the corner of the bar thatyou make your target. You sit there for a second or two and try to muster upthe balls to do it…. You pause and rethink your gameplan…… you keep pausing….okay now it’s become weird and pulling the trigger is 5 times more difficultthan it was just a few seconds ago. You decide not to approach the set and yougo to the bar and order a drink and putz around some more.

 

That was my typical night when I first started and I knowthat a LOT of guys fall into this category.

 

In sarging with the best PUA’s in the world, they all haveone thing in common, they can all approach with absolutely no hesitancy. TakeMatador as an example, he genuinely does NOT care when he goes out. It’s jutset, set, set, set, set! Whether or not he enoys it or is impartial to it, hecan do it consistently.

 

I remember one first night at a bootcamp. I just recallbeing so utterly nervous that people would dislike me or I just wouldn’t hookany sets. Oddly enough, to my liking, I found that most sets were veryreceptive to me and  that people werejust generally nice. I was honestly expecting people to be rude or laugh at me,but honestly, it didn’t turn out that way at all whatsoever.

 

It really hit me that, almost a little too much common-sensefor my own good. People are pretty nice for the most part. Of course you’llcome across a person or two that’s going to be rude, but that’s justinevitable.

 

That’s the first step in managing your AA, just go into afew sets and try keeping a conversation up, perhaps it doesn’t hook, but that’sokay, you’ll realize that people are NOT rude and that it’s not scaryapproaching sets.

 

Another big hurdle I see many guys failing to get over ismanaging their expectations. I’ll see PUAs that will approach three sets andnot hook one, suddenly he’s all droopy faced and just drinking alone at thebar. It happens,  NOT every set is goingto hook. There have been nights when I first started where I would go through10 sets and none would hook, of course my ratio’s are much better nowadays, butthat all came with practice.

 

When I first started out, I kept meticulous records ofeverything I did, how many sets hooked, how many #’s I got, what have you. Andweek after week, I noticed pretty consistent results with a little variancehere and there. Of course over  time Isaw improvement, but what I’m trying to convey here is to budget for yourlosses. Realize that you WILL get blown out of set and its just part of thegame. Now if you’re going 0/60 on hooking sets, obviously  you need to reassess.

 

When I first started pickup, with no experience, I wouldprobably hook 3 out of 10 sets and make some tangible progress. Nowadays, I canhook about 7-8/10 sets and if  I’m reallyon my A game and in state, I’ll have nights where I can hook just aboutanything.

 Put everything into perspective and it’ll make it mucheasier on yourself emotionally.

Long term Coaching,

 

There is something that has been bothering me a lot as of late and honestly it’s probably upsetting me more than it should be

Working with a pick up company for almost close to a year now, it’s been quite the experience so its so different than what the norm is. It’s been fun, rewarding, a lot of work and definitely something I do not regret at all whatsoever. I mean come on, you’re paid to travel the world and teach this to other guys, definitely beats the 9-5 ( internally speaking at least).

In anycase, the thing that has been bothering me is the progression of a lot of the guys I see that come into the program. It’s almost reminiscent to seeing a lot of my friends that join gyms. They’re all gung ho about it, they’ll go out and buy supplements, invest in some awesome gear and then what happens? They’re quit after about 2 weeks, it’s ridiculous, I mean at the very least bit, getting some cool work out gear will cost you $200 bucks at the most, but with pick up, it’s NOT the case.

I’d have to say that only 2/10 clients I come across actually continue their education, which leads me to believe that their women issues are NOT only mechanic in nature, but it’s their lack of discipline that’s really causing the root of the problem. For me, it was strictly mechanic, my body language was off, my inner game was terrible, I had limiting beliefs, what have you. But with enough focused effort, I fixed most if not all those problems, but of course that came with hard work, time and discipline.

Anways getting back to that 2/10 figure, that just goes to show that 8 men out of 10 just simply give up afterwards.

If you’re one of those guys that doesn’t continue education afterwards, you’re not entirely screwed, that’s not what I’m trying to say, but very few of those men actually follow up with the program.

For example, at the ABC’s, there’s a forum filled with great resources. You have access to Johnny Wolf, APB himself and the other coaches, yet I only see a handful that actually participate.

The simplest way to get better at pick up is just to WRITE FIELD REPORTS. If you go back in history, you’ll find a lot of mine on Detroit PUA and the ABC’s boards, experience is a good teacher, but EVALUATED experience is an even better teacher.

If you actually sit down and write a field report it will actually force you to evaluate your problems and give you better insight to your sticking points. Otherwise, it just becomes a mesh of experiences and you’ll end up feeling lost after a while. Anyways, just wanted to get that off my chest.

This actually has been a recurring thought of mine for quite some time now and I will give some credit to DJ Fuji for brining this out to light because I honestly thought I was the only person to think this.

Pick up is a service based industry that essentially is education. There is a complete inefficiency with the pick up industry. The whole concept of a bootcamp is definitely something that is quite unique to pick up. It’s the primary source of education and is pretty much the standard with all pick up companies including the one I’m currently affiliated with.

As far as pick up goes, it would be inevitable for me to become proficient, it’s not that I’m talented, smarter, quicker or faster, it’s just simply because I wanted it real bad and it was the consistence and persistence that really made the difference in the end. Combining all this hard work over time with constant instruction from all the top guys truly brought to where I am today.

I remember before I got on the show, I recall telling myself that if I didn’t make it that I was willing to shell out the dollar amount necessary in order for me to get good at the art-form.

In retrospect, learning pick up wasn’t terribly difficult conceptually speaking, it’s pretty straight forward and for the most part, your common sense will get you by.

I notice that many guys that never get good just don’t simply put the work in, it’s the same reason guys never get in shape, it has NOTHING to do with the activity and has more to do with the person’s own self-discipline.

So my question is, why doesn’t the industry facilitate this?

I’ve never seen a long term coaching program in pick up, yet I’ve come across dozens of clients that tell me they’re serious about pick up and really want to master the craft. The only real option is to take multiple bootcamps and the flaw I feel with that is that there is a lot of content that is repeated and that it takes more detailed, specific, one-one attention as the PUA becomes more skilled.

I’ve always been a firm believer that if you’re going to do something, do it right or just don’t do it at all. Going to the gym once or twice isn’t going to do jack for you, and quite frankly, taking one bootcamp and just throwing in the towel afterwards (I’d say this is at least (60% of guys I come across) isn’t going to help you either.

Tell you what, I don’t see why Jewish people get such bad rap for being cheap because quite honestly, I think Asians are the cheapest ethnic group in existence. My dad will honestly drive around town for 3 hours trying to save 3 dollars. In anycase, some of that has permeated into my personality. If I were to take a bootcamp and pay say 3,000 dollars, I better damn well make sure I make that into something.

I see guys do that all the time and quite frankly, they’ve just wasted 3,000 dollars of their cash. Better you spend an extra 6 grand and actually LEARN the skill over the course of a year than to just spend 3,000 and go absolutely nowhere.

In anycase, I will definitely be discussing this with higher authority and will try and will be looking into longer term coaching programs because quite frankly, that’s the only way you’re going to get better. Bootcamps are NOT a magic bullet and I would make an argument that it would take at least 2 or 3 of them in conjunction with a persons own self development program to actually become sufficient at the art.

Social conditioning is powerful stuff no doubt. Aside fromlearning to take Ritalin and cram for exams, one thing I did take away fromcollege I thought that was particularly helpful and eye opening is the conceptof social conditioning. The two greatest examples

 

1. Slavery

2. Indian Genocide

 

So let’s start with slavery. Slavery has actually been anaccepted practice in almost every society a couple hundreds years ago andbeyond. Everyone had one and it was just normal. But by today’s standards, eventhe remote thought of owning a slave is just ghastly.

 

Or take Native Americans, studying the events thattranspired a couple hundred years ago, it really isn’t terribly different whatAdolf Hitler was trying to accomplish in WWII. As far as I’m concerned the United Statesis just as Imperialistic as any country out there and we’re just as guilty. Weare solely responsible for the death of millions of Native Americans and quiteliterally, stealing their country away from them and all we do in retributionis eat corn and turkey on Thanksgiving.

 

In any case, all I’m trying to get across here is the powerof social conditioning.

 

I think one of the biggest eye opening moments with regardsto pick up was watching Mystery’s video’s and his thoughts on science andanthropology. It really made you question your social conditioning and itreally explained a lot of conflicting thoughts I had in my head and in somesense, really liberated me. So for example, take marriage and monogamy. Ashuman beings, from an evolutionary standpoint, we’re not designed to bemonogamous in the long term, “pair-bonding” (love in laments terms) if youwill, is a chemically triggered process that lasts for roughly 1-2 years, whichmake sense in prehistoric tribal societies. From an efficiency standpoint, thiswould allow a male to maximize the number of surviving offspring he would have.

 

Anyways, I’m not going to enter a giant philosophical debateon social conditioning, happiness, and human impulse.

 

Living in Los Angeles for close to a year has been an amazingexperience, especially with the show and everything, but on the same token too,living here in the “superficial” capital of the world has made me realize therereally isn’t much of a difference between what’s considered superficial and aperson acting on their innate human impulses. For example, I love big perkyboobs,  I just do, they’re freakingawesome and I can’t explain it, I just like them. And again, from thescientific perspective it would just make sense, larger breasts yield moreadequate feeding for potential offspring. Yet, if I were to stare at a girlslarge breasts or give a girl I was dating brownie points for having big boobsthat I was dating, suddenly that makes me a pig/superficial/fake. I also lovebeef hotdogs, should I feel superficial/fake for that too? On the opposite endof the spectrum, if a girl dates a guy who’s rich, she’s a gold digger and she isn’tgenuine.

 

In the end, I feel pretty confident that it’s fair to saythat despite our social conditioning, our primal impulses always kick through,hence why you’ll never see a supermodel that isn’t pampered or an excessivelyrich/powerful man with shortages of women in his life.

 

 

So I suppose the question is, in today’s society, doessocial conditioning actually have any merit, is any of it actually true? Or isit there to keep the average American citizen subdued and obedient? Is it wrongfor us to seek our innate human impulses?

 

Some food for thought I guess…..

If you're still reading this old entry, just had to upload some of these photos for posting purposes, so just nm them, thanks!

What the hell is wrong with asian parents?

 

I recently just coached a program with APB out in Los Angeles and althoughit had already been a re-ccuring thought in my mind, it just became reallyapparent and almost infuriated me after talking to one of the studentspost-program.

 

I honestly wonder what it is that is inherently wrong withmost asian parents in general.

 

I’m going to give three examples, both just happened in thelast month.

 

I was sitting down with my cousin, she’s about 13 right nowand she’s about that age where she starts flirting and meeting boys and whatnot. I half jokingly ask her if she had a boyfriend, she blushed a little andshe told me about a crush she had on this guy in her class. I told her awesome and of course given my PUA education, I started giving her a small game plan on how to get this guy.

 

My Uncle eaves-drops for all of about 2 seconds and totally takes a shit in his pants. “How dare you fill my daughter’s head with suchtoxic stuff”, “Don’t pollute my daughter’s mind with that kind of stuff”. I was a little taken back, so I asked him what his solution was on the whole datingscene. He told me that if it were entirely up to him, she wouldn’t date a guy until she finished her PHD in her program. So….. she’ll be roughly 30 before she ever sees a guys weiner.

 

Just before I left back to Los Angeles from Michigan,I took my brother out to lunch. He’s just starting high school. I asked how life was and it was pretty similar to mine growing up which I can talk about for hours and then I asked him how his friend situation was. He had a real close childhood friend that was asian and I asked him if he had hung out with him recently to which he told me that he hadn’t seen him in months. Apparently, he goes to school 7 days a week and isn’t allowed to hang out with friends because his parents are afraid that him being social will interfere with their grades.

 

Take one of my childhood friends. I’ll leave his name out here, but we recently sat down and got some food, it’d been roughly 4 years since I saw him last. So we start chattering, and the first couple I ask him are:

 

1. So how’s it been?
2. How’s the social life here in socal?
3. Any girls peak you interest.

 

Okay, no exaggeration here, he tells me, no not really, butlet me tell you something awful that happened to me (and he said it reallyenthusiastically), to which I said “what” in utter suspense. “I got C on mycalculus exam”. When he said that phrase to me, the magnitude of importance wasequal to that of a guy realizing he had testicular cancer and was sterile at age 22.

 

At first I thought he was totally messing with me. He wasn’t, he was genuinely mortified at his math grade.

 

Okay, I don’t really think I need to defend myself here, there is clearly something wrong with this picture.

 

Perhaps the second case was a little extreme, but I’m justusing it to make a point here. Especially in asian families, a child is a product largely from their parents’ influence and quite frankly, I really don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish

 

If I look back on how I was raised, granted, I’m not goingto say they(my parents) were completely off on how to effectively raise a child since they did put me through a good school and spent close to a $100k on my education. So for that I thank them, but that being said, I honestly wonder why it is that asian parents have this giant obsession with education to begin with.

 

So again, the premise is simple in their eyes. Let’s get ridiculously amazing grades, go to Harvard, graduate with honors and get some awesome high salaried job, viola, live happily ever after.

 

Throughout growing up, my parents never really gave me the sex talk, it just never came up. I think when I was 18 and had my first girlfriend, my dad told me to be sure to use a condom if I got hanky panky withher, and that was pretty much the extent of sex/flirting education I receivedfrom both my parents.

 

I read this article recently, sometimes it just aggravates me,the ideas that asian parents instill in their kid’s heads.

http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/04/20/1900320.aspx

No discredit to people that are in the PUA community. I think it's a great thing for guys that are looking to ramp up their relationships and social life, probably the single most important thing in just being human.

The more I look at Mystery Method and pick up in general, I see it as a shortcut that a ton of guys try to take. Again, no discredit to the community in general or anything, but I have met some of the WIERDEST people on the planet via pick up, it's almost like alcoholic anonomymous for relationships.

If you're a guy that's just starting out in pick up, and I mean this in the most constructive way, please take a second and ask yourself if you see yourself as at least a "normal" guy.

1. Do you creep people out?

2. Do you have a lot of friends?

3. Do you have girlfriends (or rather, friends that are girls)?

Really ask yourself and don't let your ego get in the way and just figure out if you just meet the criteria for being a normal cool dude.

I think cold approach pick up is cool and can get you decent results if you're already a pretty cool guy, but what I will say is this, if you're just starting out, whether you're already hella cool or slightly socially awkward, I would suggest just building a solid social group to begin with.

When I first moved to L.A, APB had recommended me to be a club promoter which at the time I sort of dismissd since I had just finished school and I wasn't in an great fiscal position if you will. But in retrospect, this would have been an awesome move, with the show coming out and everything, it would have been great for social networking in the club scene, a great way to meet some solid people when i was out and about.

Anyway, with the show and everything, I managed to get away with it since people recognized us when we went out. In a way, it was a bit of an unfair crutch but anywho, I digress.

Okay!

So you've just started, you read the game, you're inspired and want to make a giant transformation in your dating life and want to have a shit ton of hookups, great.

Before we meet some women, let's take a step back here, let's try and to just make "friends".

Here's the deal with the club scene, you're definitely going to run into a different crowd. Before the club scene, I was more familiar with the college party scene, which was a great primer for the club scene, but it was definitely much different. When you go to your typical social engagement, you already know people or have friends of friends and its usually easier to meet people. Plus you don't really run into PUAs at college parties.

Now the club scene can work in and against your favor. It will be easier to hit on a girls because its much more socially acceptable at clubs, but on the same token, girls will be on higher guard since they get hit on every 2 seconds. This is why I'm a fan of cold approach, it at least sets you in the right path, attitude-wise.

Okay, let's start meeting some people, some people you'll want to be cool with:

1. The Bar-tenders

2. The Promoters

3. Cocktail Waitresses

Pretty much anyone in the staff, find a club you like and make it your watering hole. When you show up, it really should feel like your own backyard. 

Be sure to tip well. I'm asian and I can be a real cheapass sometimes, but tip the staff well and they'll be really cool towards you. That's the first step, befriend the staff.

Second step: be a quasi-promoter.

I had a real good acquaintence in college, he wasn't particularly interesting in a one on one setting, but he was great and making events happen. He was the go to guy for all the parties and everyone knew him. He wans't good looking yet he always had women in his life. 

Make yourself the go to guy, I'm not saying it's going to easy and it definitely takes time, but if you spend time doing this, it'll be much easier than micro-managing situations with women.

It does a lot for you:

1. Social Proofs you, you're the leader of men

2. Keeps you in state

3. Helps you meet women via social circle

Honestly, if you can't make friends, you're not going to get a girl, unless she's missing teeth or something is wrong with her.

Be sure to throw events, organize parties, etc etc, make a name for yourself. 

I see a lot of asian guys that fall into this category, they just work their asses off 80 hours a week and hope to have a girl in their life.

Also, I should have mentioned this earlier. doing pick up takes time. One of my best PUA friends that's great at pick up for one simple reason: he makes time and energy for it.

Pick up will take time/money/resources, If you're working 50+ hours a week, I highly doubt that you can make this happen. So before you proceed forward, I would highly encourage you to make sure you have the time to make this work.

So it's been a year since the show came out ( how time flies ), I just had a good chat with Todd, Brian, and Greg from the show. I think we've all come to the same conclusion. Pick up has been great and all, but at this point, we don't really use routines or anything we initially learned which seems a little irresponsible, but what we did realize is that pick up is not rocket science or some sort of magic formula, its just a means of giving you the motivation to go out and work on your basic social skills.

Instead of reading pick up material, I would definitely encourage you to read some basic books on social dynamics and leadership:

1. Dale Carnigie's "How to Win Friends and Influene People"

2. John C. Maxwell "360 Leader"

Remember, at the end of the day, pick up isn't some sort of magic bullet, it's just a means of changing your atitudes towards dating/flirting and honing your basic social skills, that's it.

Some Recent Expoits

:

So I've browsin the Venusian Arts forums as of late and especially on the newbies boards, I keep seeing the same recurring problems ove and over again, get shit tested, getting blown out of set, so on and so forth. In anycase, if anyone can relate to this, it's definitely myself, being on the show and all, it was extremely difficult. I remember getting off camera after my field challenges and wanting to throw up from being so stressed out.

For all those starter PUA's out there, I just wanted to simplify pick up in my experience and what this past year has surmounted to and what I thought in retrospect for your educational experience.

I remember when I first found out about pick up. I was sitting on a bus on the way home in the summer of 2007, just broken up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. I remember coming across this article regarding pick up 101 and Sean Messanger. i thought it was so cool that guys were out there teaching pick up advice for men. I mean, I wasn't horrific with women but I wasn't really good and more importantly, I could have used some improvement. It was shortly after that I discovered the pick up community and ultimately discovered the Mystery Method.

I remember reading his book and thinking "wow", a plethora of all this knowledge complete with charts, formulas, etc etc. I remember flying to vegas not long after for a small vacation with some friends and I remember trying to cram as much of this stuff into my head as possible and I legitimately thought that I could apply this stuff immediately ( a litle naive in retrospect)

So fast forward a year later, I'm off the show and I'm relatiely experienced in this whole pick up scene. I remember thinking to myself: "wait a minute, people have been having sex and men have been picking up women since, well, FOREVER". So then I thought to myself, is the Mystery Method all its hyped up to be.

I had a pretty in depth conversation with Brian, Greg, and Todd from the show and what they thought about their experience with pick up and we all agreed, in the end, all our "training" surmounted to was just being a cool fun guy that was socially open to strangers. All these months of going out, we realized THATS all it boiled down to.

In the beginning, we still used all of our classic openers that we got off the show and nowadays when we go out, we just have fun and things just naturally happen.

In anycase, I'll I'm trying to get across for all the newbies out there, I'm not saying that Mystery Method or pick up is a waste of time, nothing like that, but what I'm trying to convey is that eventually, you just want to epitimoze that fun cool guy at the bar that's willing to talk to anyone, add a proper physical escalation and bam, you've got a pick up artist.

I know for a lot of you out there, using "canned material" is a little awkward, as it should be. It just gives you something to say when you're out and about because the biggest excuse you'll come across is "well, I dont know what to say to her", now you don't have that excuse anymore.

The reason you can become so good at pick up in such a short amount of time is the simple fact that you're having the same interaction over and over again, patterns begin to emerge and you'll find yourself responding on auto pilot.

Eventually, you'll get to a point where you can predict what she'll say and you'll have a witty response lined up for it.

Canned material is not a bad thing by any means, as a matter of fact, I think it's great for starters, it's really difficult to learn natural game without the use of canned material. Eventually though, you want to ween yourself off canned material which will help you "be yourself" which is that same generic advice that everyone keeps giving you to begin with.

I congratulate and thank Mystery for pioneering his entire system, but what I'm really grateful for was his pioneering of the cold approach, people are so used to meeting other people only through friends, which is a great method but limits so many interactions. in the end if you really think about it, a lot of his terminology is just a fancier term for something much simpler ( DHV = bragging appropriately, neg = (technically brining a girl's value down) just teasing a girl). So if it's your first time going out, just realize that you're just having a plain simple human interaction, no need to overcomplicate things wth crazy formula's or algorithms, enjoy the moment and seize the moment.

Happy Hunting!

-Kevin

I've been getting a lot of questions as late in regards to mastering the approach in pick up. I'd have to say that the approach is arguably the most important step in pick up for many reasons. First off, it establishes your first impression, a girl will size you up in a matter of 30 seconds, she'll essentially know everything she needs to know about you in the first 30 seconds. At that point she'll either blow you off by "going to find her friends", "going to the bathroom", or maybe she's intrigued and now you've got more game time.

The first and most important thing in the approach is coming across with the proper energy levels. Your energy should be slightly higher than the set you're going into because if you're going into a set as a boring drone, they'll blow you out. People go out to have a good time, that's the main reason, if you can go out and give them a good time, show good enthusiasm, and radiate a good vibe towards them, they'll accept you into the group.

So there are a few ways you can approach a set, you can approach directly, indirectly, or situational. The indirect approach is vintage Mystery Method. Classic over the shoulder, opinion opener, conveys very little value and the whole premise is that you don't want to give a set too much value off the get go. This was the way I originally learned the game off the VH1 show, it's field tested by thousands, field tested by myself and totally works. I found indirect game to be really useful when I first started the game because it was lower investment and if I got blown out, I could just proceed onward because it was so low investment to begin with.

Example : "Who lies more, men or women"

The second way to approach is the direct method, which is actually a more powerful way to approach than the indirect method. High risks mean high rewards but also with regards to pick up, means harsh blow outs. It's sometimes referred to as the shotgun method, I find this method great in a target rich environment, it cuts through so much BS, and if you can take the rejection, it'll only work in your favor. I remember the first time I ran direct openers,  I was scared shitless, I was like "for real, I really have to tell her she's pretty, crap I'm showin all my cards here",  the thought of walking up to a girl and telling her she was gorgeous was absolutely terrifying. After about 4-5 sets that night, I realized it wasn't that big of a deal. For some reason I thought the girls would be rude for whatever reason, turns out they were flattered and just not interested but the ones the were inerested were hooked instantly.

Example: "You are so wicked cute, I just had to come over and say hi"

The last way to approach is the situational opener, I find this useful for warm up sets or sets that seemed a little "burned out" by other PUA's in the area. It'll come across as spontaneous because you're referring to something in the environment. Also, if you're with your social circle in the peripherary, I find situational openers to be a lot more appropriate, nobody wants to be out and associated with "that guy" if you know what I mean.

Example : "I have to say, your dress is super yellow, you're like a giant sexy banana"

All 3 ways work, it's difficult to say that one is better than the other, but rather they vary by situation.

The most important factor when it comes to opening is the delivery. The delivery will make or break everything. I remember working with Lovedrop when I was on the set of VH1's The Pick Up Artist, he told me that it didn't matter what I said in reality. HIm, Mystery, and Neil used to play this game where they would approach a set and see what boring subjects they could get away with. Great example, Mystery game's a girl out on the VH1 set talking about google earth. I mean come on, google f'in earth! If you're enthusiastic, incorporate pauses, changes in your voice intonation and sound generally interesting, it WILL hook the set's attention. This is Mystery's strongest point, it's the fact that he's so captivating, he's one of few people that can talk AT me and still hold my attention for over 45 minutes.

Another Important point with approaching (something taught to me by Asian Playboy), is STICKinG YOUR APPROACH. Too many PUA's out there get nervous before they approach and when they're in set, they still have the jitters. Everytime you approach, stay in your set as long as you can. Great motto "blow me or blow me out". You really need to approach every set as if you KNOW you're going to close the chick out. If you don't go in with that mentality, you'll kill yourself while you're in set.

The final important point in the approach is getting in state. Before I go out, I workout and rock out to loud music, go to the club, get a shot or two ( don't get drunk ), and the bam, I'm ready to game. You want to be the most fun guy at the club when you're there. They always say "fake it till you make it", I respectfully disagree, I don't think that faking it works in the bar, you cant fake having a good time, a girl will pick up on that very quickly, beleive me. My biggest milestone in pick up wasn't getting the #'s, the makeouts, etc etc, it was learning to have a great time in a loud club full of strangers. It's intimidating at first, but learn to have fun when you're there and it'll become much more emotionally sustainable.

Happy Hunting!

Maybe this is just a little phenomenon that I've picked out in between my peers, but it's really aroused my curiosity.

For me personally, I'm into caucasian girls. Not trying to be a racist and it's not that I despise women of other races, but I'm just not attracted to them for whatever reason. It doesn't really make too much sense to me by any standard since I'm asian myself and that in it of itself should make me attracted to asian girls, no? I mean, if it were last generation and i were born and lived in asia, would i just be a virgin my entire life?

I've also met a lot of other asian guys like myself that only date cauasian women. For me personally, I'd attribute a lot of it to growing up in a pre-dominantly white community, one with a heavy jewish demographic, which oddly enough, I'm really attracted to jewish girls. it's just odd how it has affected my preferences and how it's carried on over even to adult hood.

I've actually tried experimenting with asian girls in the past, just thought it'd be a good resume builder.

i remember this one night almost a year ago, I had an asian girl who was really into me and I was single and "on the prowl" at the time. She wasn't bad looking by any standard. I remember kissing her and escalating and it just felt totally empty. She may as well have been a blow up doll.

Something else a little off topic but on topic i've noticed is that with Indian asians, they tend to date in their own ethnic boundaries. i mean, asian(oriental)-white couples are rare as is but I now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen an Indian-white couple ever in my life.

Perhaps I'm just drawing from a small pool here, but the Indian friends I do have only date in their own ethnic group and they do seem a little clicky. I'm wondering if this is due to parental upbringing, etc etc.

Speaking of parental upbringing, I think asians in general have a hard time dating in western culture. Although my parents will a little lenient with me with dating when I was growing up, they never really taught me anything about it, everything I knew came from television. I remember sitting in the car with my dad one day and just told me to be sure to use a condom before i did the deed. It was awkward and the only extent of a birds and bees conversation I had with my dad.

I saw my uncle for the first time in a while and my younger female cousin is getting to be about that age, and I asked her if she had been "hussling" boy at school. She got all blushy as most girls would and my uncle went nuts. He told me not to put those toxic thoughts into her head and that dating is a total waste of time and that she should be focused strictly on school and only school until she was out of college or grad school.

I found that to be a litle ridiculous, dating is an essential life experience, and to put it off until such a late time of life, I would argue is actually detrimental to a person's upbringing.

I think my uncle is representative of a prototypical asian parent in western society. They're so stoked about having their kid grow up in an affluent place, that they pool all their resources in that one category and neglect the rest.

For women, I would argue it isn't as bad, since women get hit on and typically aren't responsible for escalating a relatonship, but I find this extremely damaging for asian men. Of my good asian friends, all of whom are in college or graduated, they've never been kissed, never held a relationship, and obviously are still virgins and the odd thing is that they're okay with it.

I have a childhood friend that currently goes to a really prestigious school and has an amazing GPA ( go figure ), I asked him how life was and the only thing he talked about for the first 45 minutes was how he got a B in a math class. I mean come on, I mean I'm asian and even I can relate how life and death it can be when it comes to math but that's all he had to talk about. He's almost in his mid twenties and he's never even considered dating a girl.

That's a bit of an extreme example, but I honestly wonder how guys like that go through life and ignore their impulses.

So it's been quite a lingering topic for quite some time now, but the economy is in such a state of crappiness right now.

I'm only 22 at this point and i honestly cannot recall a world event affecting me so much. The only real signficant event that's really happened in my lifetime is 9/11. I feel like life before 9/11 and the tech bubble was pretty good. Perhaps it was just my obliviousness as a child, but it just seems as if we've been in a state of recession for the past 6 years.

These past 6 months have been absolutely amazing. Graduating college and going straight into the pick up scene. I'll never forget the first phone call I got from VH1. I remember watching the show last year and thinking it would be really cool to be on it, but I never thought that such an opportunity would present itself. I remember driving down Panama City, I had just finished college and we were on our graduation trip. I got a call from Melanie from VH1.

At the time I was winning the online casting call and I thought I got the spot on the show, turns out it was a casting interview, but they flew me out to L.A and put me up in a hotel.

Then when our P.A Matt walked in, I remember it distinctly. He came into my room with a decision and the most irritating thing was that he didn't really have any facial expression indicative of what he was thinking. I had been waiting in my hotel room for 2 weeks now and when the final words came out of his mouth..... wow, I honestly cannot remember the last time I had felt that excited without some sort of chemical inducement.

Anyway, I digress. The past 6 months have been absolutely amazing as I've had the chance to hang out with the cast, Mystery, Matador, Asian Playboy, etc etc. They seem so elusive in the book and on TV. Even to this day, it's wierd being around them. Being from the midwest, we never see famous people, and just seeing them is an exciting experience every time.

But now that experience may need to come to a temporary halt. I mean at this point I was making pretty good progress as a PUA, but recently my mother has been under fire at GM and has lost her postion there, hopefully she can get it back sometime soon, but with that loss, it means I have to head back into the workforce with this AMAZING economy.

It just seems like the losses are permeating everywhere. I went to vegas last week, I was talking to some local saying that the crowds are nowhere as large as they used to be. I see europeans here in L.A all the time(great people) and they're all visiting because their EURO is kicking the crap out of our dollar. A lot of my friends from college, (I'm an '08) graduate are either getting layed off, reduced bonuses, etc etc.My favorite onlinei radio, is constantly asking for donations and taking up air time (annoying).

I just started my job hunt last week and I never thought that it would be so difficult, so many companies are on hiring freezes and it just seems like everyone is in a state of scramble.

Even pick up companies are struggling right now, I mean, I won't name names just to preserve people's confidentiality, but I see companies offering bootcamps for less than $1000. I mean we're talking big name PU companies here that are cutting their bootcamps from $4000 to $1000.

I feel somewhat bad for Simeon too because it was part of his VH1 contract that he would be able to travel the world with Mystery and Matador and teach programs. Although he has helped touch here and there, to my knowledge he hasn't had the chance to travel the world with the two fo them, due to economy affecting their programs.

They say that now's a good time to buy a car, house, etc, but if you're in the market to take a bootcamp, now's the best time to do it.

I had a friend that I spoke to recently that said he was going to take full advantage of his job loss. He had some money saved up and was looking to hone his game anyway, so he's going to use that time to go at it full time, 5-6 nights a week. Good to see that some people are still keeping their heads up admist the bad news.

Anyway, I hope you guys out there are doing good and staying afloat!