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A lot of guys always ask me what my “hit/miss” ratio is when it comes to cold approach pick up and I’ll give them my honest #. Don’t mean to suck my own wang here or anything, but if I’m in state, I can usually hook about 90% of my sets. I’m sure everyone’s had those “in state” moments where it seems like everything can hook which is definitely part of the equation, but the little secret to truly hooking all your sets can be defined by one simple word:

Spontaneity

If you can learn implement in-field spontaneity with a  high energy state, most if not all your sets will hook and the straight harsh blow outs are almost next to none.

Let’s take myself when I was a newbie in pickup. I’d have all my openers written down on a little cheat sheet in my back left pocket, I’d see a set and then by the 3 second rule, I’d approach the set, cow-poke, smile, and then deliver my opener to the best of my ability without stuttering.

Girl’s really have a sixth sense when it comes to bar and nightclub settings, there are horny men everywhere and they need to keep their vaginas protected from the unworthy. When you’ve spent the last 45 minutes garnering the balls to approach that girl, they know it, they feel it. It comes across in your demeanor, your voice tonality and they can smell that sh*t from a mile away. It’s a scientific fact, women are several times better than men at picking up sub communication and there are certain microexpressions that you simply cannot control that they will pick up on. The only way to bypass this barrier is to genuinely be spontaneous.

This is Captain Jack’s approach when he goes out into field, he’ll actually approach sets without getting a full look at them and at times he’ll just pray that the girl is cute, because he’ll start walking towards her without getting the full picture.

Mystery says “fake it till you make it” and while it’s a great adage for newbies, for those that are intermediate and beyond, it’s time to take off the training wheels, it’s time to ditch the canned routines and the premeditated responses. If you’re still having trouble getting into state, it’s a sign of weak BT game, you’re having difficulty influencing your own mood and if you can’t do it, then there is NO way you’re going to be able to influence another person’s mood. So if you’re stuck here, take a step back and reread the blog post I made on “getting into state”

Okay, some examples of spontaneous openers….. (remember, spontaneity requires a degree of creativity, which is pretty implicit in the definition of the word itself)

 

EYE-CONTACT is so underutilized by newbies, when you initially walk into a club (assuming your passive value is intact) scan the club for girls that are giving the visual cue to approach them. If a girl gives you solid contact, that’s an invitation to approach. Don’t forget to mix in some fun BT gambits to loosen up the interaction. Few nights back, this cutie in a blue dress gave me the protocol smile and eye contact. I slightly cocked my head sideways, smiled back at her, and gave her a reverse peace sign. Immediately she giggles, and then I move in for a fist pound. BAM, I’m in set, buying temperature is already warm and her guard is completely down. No hesitation, no approach anxiety, but rather, just capitalizing in the small window of opportunity given to me.

Clubs are pretty crowded places and often times you’ll be bumping into people and when its really cramped, I swear there were times I’ve in inadvertently hit 2^nd base with passerby’s. Again… ALWAYS look for the eye contact. Okay, so this opener definitely requires some ridiculous PLAYFUL calibration and is a bit of a higher investment opener.

I’m in a crowded spot with a girl passing by me to get to the bar. Girl totally rubs up on me.

Me: *Give her a funny smirk*, “Seriously?”

Her: “ What?”

Me: “You need to quit rubbin your boobs on me, it’s seriously inappropriate for someone you haven’t met yet”

Her: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry”

Me:  *Delivered in a comedic blunt fashion, think Steve Carrell* “Well, I mean, they’re pretty big so, I’m not terribly pissed, you should get them deflated or like….. a pushDOWN bra if they make them”

Her: *busts out laughing*

Me: “Anyways, not to be rude, I’m Kevin, you are?”

So in the example above, it was very playful and was framed to where she was the “bad guy” or the aggressor and I’m in the victim which definitely plays in my favor since girls are always getting picked up in the lamest ways and they’re on defense. Again…. Same motif, just a playful opener delivered spontaneously. So while, I don’t have a name for this opener (the boob brush up opener?), it’s definitely very unique to a given situation and I hope you guys can at least see some sort of semblance to a pattern in these previous two examples. I’ll use this opener quite often and of course you can swap out the verbiage to fit the context accordingly. Used this opener at least 3 times at our Opera Party, crowded as HELL that night.

        

Just finished coaching a larger program out in Orlando, probably the BEST bootcamp I've coached at so far and for everyone that helped out and attended, I wanted to say thanks to all of you for making it such a memorable experience. Pardon the awful photoshop, glad you guys had fun this weekend, keep gamin!

        

I need to discuss something really important here with regards to beginner/intermediate PUAs. I actually have been participating on a # of forums lately, some pick up related, some not, and a lot of people keep telling me.

1. Game doesn't work, it makes you robotic
2. You should learn how to be natural, etc etc
3. Just be confident and you'll be successful

Essentially all the same crap advice that I would get before I into pick up to begin with. I came across this guy lately who told me the game doesn't work and that he tried some of the routines and it made him feel robotic and then he quit shortly after and now he's blaming the entire system. Literally, all I see is a fat guy that goes to the gym, does a rep here and there, goes home and says that the gym doesn't work.

Quite frankly, I'm not here to prove anyone wrong, but the only person you're cheating is yourself if you're blaming others for your endeavors being unsuccessful.

I make it extremely clear to anyone I'm working with the amount of work it takes to get consistent good results with pickup, and realistically, you need to at the very least bit be getting out 2 nights a week, that's bare minimum, if you're not getting out that much, you shouldn't even take up the endeavor to begin with because you're just wasting your 1 night of time.

When I first started, I went out just about every single day for 3 months straight and by the end of those 3 months I started to "see the matrix". It's like the first time you drive a car, everything out of whack and you have to concentrate on everything, whereas nowadays, you're eating taco bell, talking on the cell phone, playing with your GPS and driving all at the same time and it just seems like second nature.

For the average person, DO EXPECT the first few months to suck, it's part of the process, you're piecing everything together and trying to make sense of it, so if you're not getting laid out the gate, don't sweat it, it'll come with time.

Trust me, I know the feeling, it does NOT feel good to pay 20$ for parking, 20$ for club cover, go inside of a club, stand around for a bit, finally summon the courage to approach a girl with a canned opener and then she calls you a social robot, THAT sucks. That was me for the first couple weeks, but I made strides, I wrote field reports everyday and slowly but surely, I got to my destination.

Remember, competence, NOT confidence, is what you're ultimately striving for here.

Everybody has humble beginnings!

        

Lookin and Dressin good!

 

Okay, not looking to sound like Sarah Jessica Parker in this entry, but I do want to address fashion and just dressing well in general.

 

So let’s analyze the average chump at a bar or night club….. chances are, he’s wearing an old pair of black dress shoes, some relatively baggy jeans and some wrinkly ass American Eagle dress shirt that he bought a few years back at some clearance sale in an outlet store.

 

That guy above, that’s me =), well, three years back before I was on the show. I was just like every guy, just “doing what I needed to get by”.

 

Dressing well will do a lot for you. First off it conveys a lot about you as a person. If your outfit fits you well, not only will you look spectacular, but it demonstrates to the opposite sex that you ACTUALLY spend the time to take care of yourself and groom yourself properly. In my personal opinion, girls spend way too much time getting ready. The girl I dated back in L.A, before we’d go to parties, I’d have to drop her off back at the pad around 6:00 P.M so that she could get doll’d up. Three and a half hours later, she went from a 7.5 to a dime. So if girls spend so much time getting ready, imagine how much they judge YOU on the way you dress.

 

For all you Asians out there, yes, I’m cheap, actually, I’m EXTREMELY cheap, borderline jewish, and initially it took me a LOT of convincing to invest in some nice outfits. Granted, VH1 gave me some nice stuff for being on set, I did spend a healthy wad buying some additional garb after the show. If you’re serious about pick up, get serious about your fashion, you don’t need to become a fashion columnist, but get at least 4-5 cool outfits you can wear out and be sure to groom yourself beforehand and make sure you’re smellin nice. Seriously, spend the few bucks now, it’ll save you from unnecessary female rejection.

 

Some general guidelines when you’re building your “avatar”.

 

1. Make sure your clothes are form fitting.

 

Baggy jeans were cool in the 90’s, if you were baggy jeans to a club, you better be black or have thug like qualities, otherwise you probably won’t pull them off and just come across as trashy. For me, I work out consistently and my chest is significantly larger, so every single outfit I get, I get tailored. It’s an extra 10 dollars and it’ll make your clothing fit your body seamlessly. Spend the extra 10 dollars, better you spend it there then at Popeyes after a brutal night of getting blown out of sets.

     

2. Adapt to your environment

 

Mystery is mystery, and through his television fame and his wicked game, he’s able to pull off what he has, a lot of people give him sass for the way he dresses and for good reason, it’s a LOT. I honestly dare you to walk into a club with a cowboy hat, boa, aviators, and 7 inch platform boots and make it out alive. Now, most of my outfits are adapted to the Hollywood nightlife scene, I would consider myself to be “fashionably edgy”. If I walk by a girl, she’ll look twice, but I’m careful not to cross the barrier to which she’ll perceive me as a clown. Now that I live in Orlando, I don’t wear the same outfits and my avatar is a little diluted. I’ll still rock the same jeans but I’ll replace the top with a nice shirt or polo and cut out the accessories. The key point I’m getting across here is to dress just one notch above what’s considered the “norm”

 

3. Make sure you feel good yet don’t be afraid to break out of your comfort zone.

  

When I was introduced to the concept of tighter jeans, I cringed, I couldn’t help be feel like a   complete homo when I was out and about and the I honestly had to have a drink or two just to feel normal again. After a while, I grew to like them, and the tight pair of jeans I bought on Melrose are now my favorite jeans to wear out period. Matador also gave me a wrist band after the show which I was reluctant to wear when I first went out, I couldn’t help but to feel like a Mortal Kombat character, but after getting a few compliments and adding a DHV story to the item, it’s now part of my nightly attire.

 

So now that you’re done reading this, you’re thinking “wow, you haven’t told me sh*t”, I still have no idea what to buy. That’s the feeling I was left with when I got kicked off the show, wasn’t sure how to proceed. Every body has different tastes in clothing and fashion. I dress differently and am distinct from any other PUA, remember, you’re a “pick up artist”, to some degree, your tastes/preferences and discretion will dictate your development and that applies to your fashion sense as well. Understand that there will be a degree of trial and error and you will have those thoughts of “jesus, I spent $50 on that shirt and I totally hate it”. That’s the price you pay for a TRULY nice wardrobe, it will take some money and even more important, some time. But pay attention to the part of pick up and I guarantee you, this investment will be one that pays off in huge dividends.

 

I also want to address hair, I didn’t really realize how many important my hair was until I actually got a cool haircut and realized how much easier it was to pick up. I was the same guy with the same game, and with a  cool haircut, both girls and guys were a lot more receptive to me. If you look at my last blog post, I had the generic asian buzz cut. You take your clippers, put the #2 length setting on and go all the way around. If you’re currently doing this, STOP. Please, for the love of god, spend the $20, go to a professional salon and get a half decent haircut and if you’re not an expert, ask your hair stylist for advice. Right now, I currently rock the fohawk, with some highlights occasionally depending on my mood. It’s not crazy, but what it accomplishes is that it conveys the fact that I’m not the next cookie cutter generic asian guy.  I’ve pasted some examples below, I think the guy in the middle and DJ Fuji’s hair (right) are a little too extreme for my tastes (remember, we’re in L.A), but I think JT(Left) pulls off the bloodhawk pretty well.

 

In regards to accessories, the guys at VA are pretty adamant about them, but again, always adapt to your environment. When I’m in L.A, I’ll rock the entire outfit, vest, dogtags, wrist bands, funky belt buckle, and its all good, because its L.A and people dress crazy already. In other major cities, I’ll definitely tone it down a notch, as described in the first paragraphs. Have some fun with it, you can start on ebay, random accessories aren’t expensive items, people will often ask you about them, and if you have a DHV story ready to back it up, that buys you more game time.

 

 

        

As of late, I’ve just undertaken a few addtional guys undermy wing for 1 on 1 training. If you are one of those guys, I deplore you to heed this advice. Tyler Durden from the book just joined up with Tony Robbins,a giant self-help advocate; I want to share something with the rest of you thatI feel is of utmost importance in your game development, and oddly enough, it’snot so much a trick or a tactic, but rather a fundamental principle that you probably have already use in other parts of your life. If you've arleady heard me rant on this I do apologize, but just take it as reinforcement because quite frankly, it IS that important.

Pick up is really cool when you first get into it. You have all these tips, tricks and tactics and the novelty overhwelms you in a good way. Let's really keep things in perspective. While you are striving to become a better pick up artist, in the process, ultimately, you are TRYING TO BECOME A BETTER MAN. Think of it this way, pick up is nothing more than an interview, the 4-5 hours where you interact w/ the girl before you do your thang is the equivalent to an interview in the job world. Just because you've aced the interview doensn't mean you can do your job. We've all done interviews before, we've all lied, exaggerated and bullshitted our way to success, but when it came down to it, we still performed at the job at hand. So the question is, can you really provide that value to the girl or are you just a good bull shit artist?

I’m not sure if any of you are Tony Robbins’ fans, if you are, awesome, if you aren’t, I highly recommend you to check his stuff out (no,I don’t work for him). What he preaches are success principles that would apply to any sort of endeavor. He’s helped people ranging anywhere from professionaltennis players to billionaires achieve more success in their field. So if you’reinterested in becoming better at anything, google him.

The real big seller for me in the ABC’s model is that it incorporates the “F” phase, as in fun/fake. It really emphasizes the fact that having a healthy lifestyle and TRULY being a cool high value guy is important.While solid game will grant you decent one night stands, if you want a girl to stick around, you can’t just be some loser with a cool outfit and a few routines. Why have to go out of your way to DEMONSTRATE HIGHER VALUE, when you can just be high value. When I met Neil Strauss at the airing of the show, he told me something that truly stuck with me.

“A rich man never has to say he’s rich”

For all you starting/intermediate PUAs, I want to make it very clear to your that building your passive value in conjunction with your active value is extremely important. I had a wing back in Michigan who I used to bitch to all the time to fix his acne and to create himself a decent avatar, he just looked like a mess. Seriously, for the well being of the human race, while I wanted his game to get better, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the eventual girl that would inseminate. Every single night, it was an uphill battle for him, I mean, there’s no other way around it, he was piss ugly, and even worse, he did NOTHING to alleviate the problem. Point is this, everybody has problems, it's whether or not you choose to deal with them properly

So where’s the first place I can start in building mypassive value? Easiest place:

The Gym:

Start there, if you succeed at that, then by all means, there is a giant laundry list out there of other things you can work on. 

Three PUAs that really stand out here in this example:

 

-David Wygant

-Matador

-Man Cannon

All three of these guys are in hella good shape, and as a result of that, they don’t need to game as hard, Matador, while he does have extremely solid verbal game, he doesn’t really need to say much, half his sets,he’ll walk up to a girl and just start making out with her, because he has thepassive value to get away with it.

Personally, I can care less about how I get there, just get me to point A to point B in the most efficient way possible.

So let’s start there, if you want rockstar results, start by looking rockstar. Get to the gym, fix your diet. I actually sat down with Matador when I first moved to Los Angeles and he actually gave me a template of his workout which I’ve adapted to my build, It’s actually available on the ABC’sforums here if you’re interested:

http://www.abcofattraction.com/community/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=2663&p=15566&hilit=the+complete+work+out#p15566

Anyways, I think I’ve conveyed my point here, while pick up is all about improving your skills with women, don’t lose sight of your ultimate objective: your personal betterment.

Here’s a before and after of me, they were seriously taken 1 year apart, while I wasn’t “piss ugly” beforehand, in retrospect, I don’t think any sober or even drunk women with any dignity would have bothered hooking up with me. This is one of the many pieces I worked on in my pick up journey and I can confidently say that I'm a better man today as a result.

 

                             

 

 

 

 

        

So I've been doing my usual perusing of the various forums and, I've actually spent some decent time on the Asian Fanatics website per my boss's request, anyway, no discredit to people in specific, but there are some REALLY messed up people there. I read this one post on the forums, where this guy was "dating" this girl for 5 months and they haven't even kissed yet. Anyway, doesn't take a genius to see the paradox in that, and no, I'm not here to indirectly threadcrap on that guy, but let's face it, something is wrong here.

        

Physical Escalation,

 

This is by and far one of the most difficult part in pick up for the vast majority of men out there. I find that there are plenty of guys out there that can socialize/open well and even get pretty deep into the interaction, but when it comes to the “rubber meeting the road”, when it comes to making that transition and stating your intentions that you are no longer just that “cool guy” and that you are more than that, that’s where most PUAs fall apart and are unsure of what to do.

 

I like Mystery’s idea of the kino escalation ladder and throwing in compliance tests to gauage her interest along the way, it definitely does well in setting up a template for what to do, but I during my learning stage, I didn’t get too many concrete examples on EXACTLY what I had to do to properly run his “kino escalation”.

 

One thing that I absolutely hate about pick up is the all round debate and inconcsistencies with teachings from various companies. It’s kind of like soybeans in the health industry. If you google it, you’ll get articles on why its amazing and can probably cure cancer and then you’ll read articles about it being satan’s bean. Quite frankly, as a “consumer”, I really don’t care, I just want what works, plain and simple. With kino escalation, if you look at various teaching systems, you’ll often find different advice and often times it contradicts one another.

 

Let me give you an example, on the last episodes of  Pick Up Artist Season two, Simeon got a lot of fire from Mystery because he would try to kino a girl by touching her shoulder and he would just leave his hand there, just lingering creepily, yet in Keys to the VIP, Cajun does the EXACT same thing, by touching a girl and leaving his hand there and one of the “board members” calls it a compliance test. The point I’m trying to get at here, is EXERCISE SOME COMMON SENSE. In this specific instance, it IS creepy when you just meet a girl and you’re leaving your hands all over her. It’s weird, you know it, she knows it and it’s going to get you blown out. So next time you’re trying to kino, just ask yourself, does it feel creepy? Chances are if it does, it probably is, your emotive system is the product of millions of years of evolution, USE IT. Touching/holding/embracing should be a natural thing that you should assign little thought or effort to (once you properly implement the steps obviously). Once you hit the C phase in the Attraction, it just becomes natural, seamless. Me & Greg working some magic at Opera out in Hollywood.

 

So what are some specific things you can do to ease it in the kino? I found Lovedrop’s kino breakout session extremely helpful with kino escalation in terms of applying general kino and gradually making the transition towards more sexual kino. One of the core concepts he covers is that having good banter(social) game is absolutely key in having proper kino escalation.

 

For those of you that have taken a VA bootcamp before, you’re aware of the “stripper name” routine that he demonstrates. He walks in, BT spikes the set and in that small window of opportunity where everyone’s laughing, he goes applies his kino move, in this case, hugging the girl and playfully biting her neck. So understand that if you can’t approach or banter well, don’t bother trying to kino, take a step back and re-evaluate.

 

Something I’m surprised that isn’t mentioned more often are socially acceptable ways of just touching people. I see all the top PUAs do them and they were as an EXCELLENT primer for larger investment moves (k closes), and the best part is, they’re socially acceptable, they’re NOT weird and society has done the work for you in “breaking them in” and as a matter of fact, you may already do them in your daily routine.

 

Remember, when it comes to pick up, I’m a heavy advocate of keeping things simple, it’s tough enough dealing with your emotions/anxiety as is, trying to micromanage a situation on top of it will cause you to short circuit. Three basic ways to break that physical barrier if you’re struggling to physically escalate:

 

1. Hugging
2. Kisssing on the cheek
3. Holding Hands while leading (later on in interaction)

 

Hugging is the easiest one, I hug just about every girl and pretty much ( no homo ) every guy I come across (works as a good amog tool too). Girls are so used to getting hugged, it’s almost second nature to them, if you so as much as put yourself in something with a remote semblance of hugging a girl automatically knows. Again, EVERY top PUA I know hugs. Again, I know this isn’t some fancy Annihilation BT sparkplug purekino patented technology kino tactic, it’s a simple basic pick up 101 tool that everyone should have in every interaction. So get used to hugging, hug every girl you comes across.

 

Kissing on the cheek is actually a lot easier and a lot less weird than you actually think. I remember doing it the first time and I thought to myself (oh, that wasn’t too bad) and after you do it a few times and the girl reacts positively, you’ll start to incorporate this “move” more often in your interactions. I got this idea from Matador and he gave a great breakdown of what this one simple move conveys and I give him immense credit for it. First, it conveys that you’re NOT just a friend, not through words, but by your actions, and especially early on the interaction if you apply it, it’s an indirect “preselection” switch hitter. She knows that she’s not the first girl that you’ve kissed on the cheek and knows there have been plenty before her and probably plenty more to come. Most importantly, it conveys that you’re confident with your sexuality, if you can apply this right after opening, you’re exploiting this “socially acceptable” move and showing her that you have the balls to take it further. Try it out sometime, again, this is something I use on pretty much every set.

 

Holding hands (as cliché, lame and middlechool as it sounds) is something you can apply later on in the set, once you’ve hit the comfort stage and she’s “cool” with you, feel free to hold hands or rather, feel free to LEAD her. When you’re walking around the venue with her, take charge, hold our hand out, apply some social pressure, if she passes this compliance test, it REALLY means she’s cool with you, and for the most part if I have a girl pass this compliance test, kissing or making out isn’t hat big of a deal. It also gives that boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic to the interaction, makes you feel closer to one another even though you just met.

 

All in all, I apply these three simple moves to all my sets, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel, society has already made these socially acceptable, so why fight the current, ride it.  Of course I have different variations with how I escalate in every set, but that type of situational awareness comes with practice and time, but if you’re just starting out, just follow those simple steps, and they’ll help you form a foundation for “fancier” game later on.

 

 

        

When men typically tackle a problem, in a very simplified model, they’ll assess it, and take a strategic approach and solving the solution. This is where a lot of guys run into problems in the pick up community, is that they’re too methodical about it. I remember a client last week asking me: “So, where in the m3 model, do I start implementing kino tactics”. For a second there I paused and I was like “okay, stop right there”.

 

In all fairness, I had the EXACT same approach when I first started the game. While Mystery has done a great job of breaking down the pickup process, I don’t think that his model is all encompassing and applies to all situations. Just like in poker, while the game is inherently the same, there are so many different types of game styles: heads up, cash games, etc. There are so many ways to approach pickup as well: indirect, direct, what have you.

 

So while I give a lot of credit to Mystery for pioneering the indirect approach, I believe it to be toxic to have too much tunnel vision.

 

One of the “ah-ha” moments I had with regards to pickup in the early phases was when I was going out with a friend named Christian, and he would what we call “natural game”, one of his first critiques to me was that I wasn’t having any fun and that I was using wayyyyyyyy too much strategy.

 

Now, I’m not condoning getting drunk on a nightly basis, but for a week, I dropped everything, just went out as a normal guy and worked on being fun cool and social. My results were MUCH better.

 

Again, while I do credit Mystery’s work a lot, I feel that a lot of men take everything in his book for gospel, there really needs to be a balance and more importantly, it’s important to realize that much of the generic advice you got before the game still applies, such as being in the moment.

 

Okay, so at this point, I’ve probably left you a little confused, but don’t sweat it, I think I have something that can help you curb your problems.

 

There are many models in pickup and just for intensive purposes we’ll take the ABC’s of Attraction and the Mystery Method.

 

Both models, while they are different on paper, are very similar in the steps and progression as they do follow the same principles.

 

The part where I’ll see most guys screw up is getting to the D phase in the ABC’s and the kino escalation with the Mystery Method.

 

The problem is that most guys will go into the interaction verbally and not convey and dominance nor will they implement any general kino tactics.

 

Back when I was first beginning to learn, I really found Lovedrop’s lecture on Kino tactics to be extremely helpful. For the beginning to middle portion of the pickup, keeping things simple, all a PUA really needs to do well is apply general kino tactics and BT spikes ( buying temperature ). And really, if you can do these two things well, it’ll take care of 80% of the pickup.

 

So for example, lovedrop will go into set and run the stripper name routine and when the girls respond with laughter, he’ll kino escalate and it it’s absolute clock work.

 

So for all the newbies out there, try not to overcomplicate things, instead, SIMPLIFY. For the time being, if you’re just starting out, I would highly encourage you to keep things simple and use the basic template below:

 

1. BT Spike
2. Kino
3. Continue conversation

 

 

If you can rinse and repeat that process, it’ll set up a real solid foundation for the rest of the pick up. Again, just using some common sense and advice you received before you got into pickup, realize that humor is an absolute must for a PUA, if you can’t make a girl laugh, there is no way in hell she’ll be attracted to you and that especially applies to cold approach pickup in clubbing environments.

 

One of the best educational experiences I had in my PUA journey was working a bit with Joe D and he got my started with improv comedy. It really teaches you timing, tonality, and more importantly it teaches you how to think on your feet (ergo, you can ditch the canned material, and truly be in the moment). I spent a lot of time with this in unison with watching plenty of stand up comedy and over time I integrated this a lot into my personality.

 

Not only was it extremely helpful with my pickup life, but it truly added a new dimension of fun and happiness to my existence. Being able to create and share laughter with others is truly something you cannot put a price on.

 

Anyway, back to the pickup, when you can effectively BT spike, that gives you a lot of power and more importantly, it creates that small window for you to physically escalate.

 

So for those that have participated in VA bootcamp, you’ve seen Lovedrop demo his stripper name routine and right afterwards, he’ll hug the girl and bite her softly on the neck and that conveys so many things. It conveys that he’s playful, fun, dominant, and not hesitant of physically escalating.

 

So for those guys that are struggling out there and are having a tough time getting to the next level, hone your BT game, without it, you’ll sink, trust me. Don’t overcomplicate the entire pick up model, having solid BT game, IMO, is 50% of the work you’ll do and if you watch all of the top PUA’s in their infield videos, you’ll notice it yourself.

        

Looking at the big picture.

 

So I had a 1 on 1 coaching program this past weekend and it was very enjoyable as they all are. He was a real young guy and quite frankly, he was definitely one of the cooler asian guys that I’ve met in my life, he’s got his head on straight and I can definitely tell that he’ll go far in life. If you’re reading this now, as long as you stay consistent and persistent, success will be inevitable for you.

 

So I coached a little different this past weekend, instead of bombarding the client with theory and what have you, I gave him a lot more exercises and more of a “principles” approach to pick up, which I found was much more beneficial for myself and is something that Matador teaches in his bootcamps and found very useful during my progression early on my career.

 

This weekend, I realized that something isn’t really given too much attention at bootcamps and should REALLY be addressed. One reason I do like the ABC’s is because it features the holistic point of view in approaching the subject as opposed to narrow tunnel vision. Also, if you’re going to do something, commit to it, do it right, otherwise don’t do it at all. You might as well not go to the gym period if you just go 3 times and quit afterwards.

 

I feel that with most programs that I’ve taken in the past, none of them take enough time to really pay attention  to other areas in life that affect your pick up abilities. While I do understand that the point of the bootcamp isn’t supposed to teach good exercise/diet, I would most certainly make the argument that if the goal of the bootcamp is to most efficiently help the client acquire women efficiently, other areas (which I will discuss) should be included in the curriculum.

 

For all you economic heads out there, I think the concept of decreasing marginal utility really applies to pickup. So for those that are not familiar with the concept, here’s an example. When you’re learning a skill, the effort put in to the amount learned is much higher than say 6 years own the road, when you’ve mastered a skill, its difficult to improve on it.

 

Similarly to pickup, there’s only so much you can truly micromanage in pickup. Now theoretically, you could be the ultimate master PUA, you could be the ugliest dude on the planet and still get the hottest girls because you’ve mastered and honed your skills down to the dime. Is this what you really want? Do you REALLY want to be a master PUA? Probably not, most guys get into this to just improve their dating life, that’s it, they’re not here to impress anyone or prove anything and this includes me. I want the most efficient way to from point A to point B and no bullshit.

 

1. Most bootcamps don’t really address fitness, I’ll see fat guy try and run pickup all the time and while I won’t say they don’t any results period, in terms of efficiency I don’t understand why they aren’t actively trying to lose weight. Everytime they go out, it’s an uphill battle for them. Why make it so difficult on yourself? Action Step : Get cut, put on some muscle weight.

 

2. Something else I see is people that go out alone, and YES, you can run good pickup out on your own, but again, why are you making it so hard on yourself? Being a good pick up artist is also being a good social artist, if you cannot make friends and be that fun cool guy, not only are you making it hard on yourself but I’d make an argument that ANY girl of substantial value would never be attracted to you. Action Step : Build the Entourage.

 

3. When I first got into pick up, I won’t say his name, but he just refused to dress or groom himself well and he had wicked terrible acne. His rationale was, if he gets his pickup skills to a great level, he shouldn’t need to address these problems. This is terribly wrong. Again, he was making this so difficult on himself. Action Step: Start formulating a style that’s congruent with your personality

 

4. Last but not least, I don’t see a lot of guys that really just put the time and effort into this period. The only reason I got to where I am was because I went out 5-6 nights a week and though it sucked the first two months, after a while it becomes fun and actually addicting. Plenty of guys out there have jobs that only permit them to go out 2 nights a week if that. Let’s be real here, if you went to the gym twice a week, how much would that actually do? Pick up is similar, it takes consistent practice to build momentum. There’s a great quote by John C. Maxwell that fits perfectly here: “If you want to see change in your life, you must change something you do daily”. Don’t expect change until you’ve taken consistent and ideally: daily practice.

 

I hope you see the recurring theme here, if you’re going to do this, put a decent amount of effort here and make sure all your pieces are lined up, otherwise you’re just putting yourself in an extremely difficult situation.

 

The biggest problem most guys have is that they don’t make the right initial investment, if you think you can just half ass this and make it work, save your time and don’t do it at all.

 

        

I meant to make this a part of the last post I had on approach anxiety, but it just turned out to be way too long for a single post.

So here’s the paramount question that I’ll see that comprises about 33% of all posts out there. “Okay, great, I’m finally in set with, I made the approach, I’m scared shitless, what do I do now”.

So essentially, once you’ve opened a set, then what do you do afterwards?

First and foremost, I don’t want to sound condescending because this was a question that I originally had, and in retrospect, I feel it was a little naïve of me to ask such a question.

The equivalent in tennis terms would be: “Okay, I just hit my serve, it went in, how do I win the point now?”. This is where your situational awareness and experience come into play and it’s those two factors that will ultimately make you a successful PUA.

I mean, if you really think about it, what you’re asking is, “how do I do the rest of the pick up now that I’ve opened”.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is to adjust your expectations. A lot of PUA’s expect to come and just apply a few principles and to automatically become good at pick up, which most certainly is NOT the case. I’ll see a ton of guys sit on the sidelines and do absolutely nothing because they don’t “have all the concepts”.

They call it “pick up artist” for a reason, to some degree, it requires intuition and creativity based on your own personal judgment and reasoning.

That being said, if you don’t know what to do once you’ve opened, just do it. What I will provide here are some general guidelines and quite anecdotes that I think will help you through this stage.

Understand that this is probably the toughest stage to work past, it’s tough enough getting over the anxiety as is, but to get over that and get punished and get negative reinforcement for a decent period of time, that’s difficult. If you can work through this part of your game, the rest is MUCH easier IMO.

Okay, so let’s bring it back to your objective improvement. So you’ve opened the set, now what? If you follow the ABC’s model, you’re technically in the B phase (buying temperature) or take it from the Venusian Arts Approach in lames terms: just come into a set with higher energy.

The goal in this stage of the pick up is to exude a higher amount of energy and enthusiasm than your target set. Again, in lamens terms without the pickup jargon, people are going out to have fun, so how can you provide them more fun and ergo, have them wanting to keep you in the set instead of blowing you out?

I remember working with Lovedrop on set with the VH1 show and the first lesson he taught us was probably THE MOST important thing I’ve learned with regards with pickup.

Whatever comes out of your mouth is so miniscule compared to the presentation, as a matter of fact, in psychology, in terms of what another person will pick up, it’s broken down 93%/7%. A person will pick up 93% of your body language, voice intonation, enthusiasm, etc, and 7% is actually attributed to your verbiage. The VA crew used to play a game where they would go out and try and one up each other by taking what the other person said and making it sound more interesting via voice intonation and body gestures

Mystery made a pretty good demonstration of this on the first episode of PUA2. He picked up a girl talking about googlemaps, literally, no joke.

So before you proceed any further with your pickup and you’re stuck at this phase, one thing I would definitely recommend you work on is your overall enthusiasm, which really isn’t even entirely pick up related.

This is something you’ll learn in sales or public speaking courses and in my opinion is something that is absolutely pertinent to pick up.

There are plenty of resources before you. I haven’t taken a Dale Carnagie course, but I’m sure one of those would be quite helpful, they’re also taught in most bootcamps including the ABC’s bootcamp where there is heavy emphasis on that portion.

So you’ve, gotten over your AA, great…. Next step, learn how to intrigue the set you’re in. I wish I could give you at least a brief outline on how to do this, but it’s such a detailed and comprehensive portion in it of itself. Plus, teaching voice intonation & body language is something that is much more effective when taught in person. They write books on how to present yourself. A couple I would recommend:

“The Exceptional Presenter”
“How to Win Friends and Influence People”
“Unlimited Power”

These are just a few to get you started, once you plow through these, you’ll realize how much they impact other parts of your life, in addition to pick up. Put the work in and get this part of life handled and it’ll pay off in huge dividends to all aspects of your life.