Staying Alive as a New Guy
I'm making this posts for a few guys that I'm currently working with and just starting out.
I really hated beginners hell, it was so difficult and I really wish there was some way to stagger all emotional downswing to different parts of my game. I remember walking into clubs for the first few weeks of my career and making progress just seemed to hopeless and success was just this remote dream.
Here's how my most typical set would go..... I'd approach, probably give an opinion opener, make awkward conversation for about 2-3 minutes and know that the entire time she wasn't interested, walk out of the set and feel totally wierd seeing her around for the rest of the night. I'd do this with several sets the entire night and I felt like everyone was watching me. What a crappy feeling and it's definitely something I never want to go through ever again. It's kind of like studying for your SAT's or MCAT, it just sucks, but you need to get through it.
But after a few months in when I had my A and B phase game intact, learning the rest was not that difficult.
A former client posted a blog post from Sinn's blog and one of the points he made was so dead on:
"The two biggest sticking points in Pick Up are Social Anxiety (AA) and Sexual Anxiety, Point Blank"
SOOOO True..... and unfortunately, IMO, the social anxiety is probably more difficult to get over because you're starting from scratch, have no foundation and little situational awareness.
So how do we stay alive in the first month or two? Simple..... we need to manage our expectations.
Most guys read "The Game" and they think, oh cool, some magic bullets and routines that will get me in the sack with a hot chick. As we've all experienced, it doesn't work that way and even for Neil Strauss himself, it took him roughly a year and a half to get good at the game.
You're just learning the ropes in the first month or two and there will be a lot of failures. Just picked up snowboarding recently and it's awful the first couple times out, you keep falling on your ass and you go home completely sore and its quite aggravating, but once you figure it out, it becomes fun/exhilarating. Unfortunately with pick up, takes more than a few days to figure out..... closer to a few months given its complexity, but its the same idea.
So in the first few months, just EMBRACE failure, expect it and approach a lot of sets and push them as far as you can, but if you walk home that night empty handed, well then that's okay, because you did gain is experience, one less day in beginners hell. Look at it that way and you'll be out of that zone much quicker and pick up will be more fun, as opposed to a chore like it is for many of you starters out there.
So for you guys that are struggling, keep pushing, keep plowing and I assure you that one of these days it'll just "click" and it's like seeing the matrix as they all say.
"Here's how my most typical set would go..... I'd approach, probably give an opinion opener, make awkward conversation for about 2-3 minutes and know that the entire time she wasn't interested, walk out of the set and feel totally wierd seeing her around for the rest of the night. I'd do this with several sets the entire night and I felt like everyone was watching me. What a crappy feeling and it's definitely something I never want to go through ever again. It's kind of like studying for your SAT's or MCAT, it just sucks, but you need to get through it."
I love this paragraph cause it totally resonated w/ me, esp. the part about knowing the entire time that she wasn't interested. I know that feeling a little too well at this point, haha. Anyways great motivting post, keep it up. Definitely something that I will try to keep in the back of the mind as I go through this painful, slow process.
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