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A lot of guys always ask me what my “hit/miss” ratio is when it comes to cold approach pick up and I’ll give them my honest #. Don’t mean to suck my own wang here or anything, but if I’m in state, I can usually hook about 90% of my sets. I’m sure everyone’s had those “in state” moments where it seems like everything can hook which is definitely part of the equation, but the little secret to truly hooking all your sets can be defined by one simple word:

Spontaneity

If you can learn implement in-field spontaneity with a  high energy state, most if not all your sets will hook and the straight harsh blow outs are almost next to none.

Let’s take myself when I was a newbie in pickup. I’d have all my openers written down on a little cheat sheet in my back left pocket, I’d see a set and then by the 3 second rule, I’d approach the set, cow-poke, smile, and then deliver my opener to the best of my ability without stuttering.

Girl’s really have a sixth sense when it comes to bar and nightclub settings, there are horny men everywhere and they need to keep their vaginas protected from the unworthy. When you’ve spent the last 45 minutes garnering the balls to approach that girl, they know it, they feel it. It comes across in your demeanor, your voice tonality and they can smell that sh*t from a mile away. It’s a scientific fact, women are several times better than men at picking up sub communication and there are certain microexpressions that you simply cannot control that they will pick up on. The only way to bypass this barrier is to genuinely be spontaneous.

This is Captain Jack’s approach when he goes out into field, he’ll actually approach sets without getting a full look at them and at times he’ll just pray that the girl is cute, because he’ll start walking towards her without getting the full picture.

Mystery says “fake it till you make it” and while it’s a great adage for newbies, for those that are intermediate and beyond, it’s time to take off the training wheels, it’s time to ditch the canned routines and the premeditated responses. If you’re still having trouble getting into state, it’s a sign of weak BT game, you’re having difficulty influencing your own mood and if you can’t do it, then there is NO way you’re going to be able to influence another person’s mood. So if you’re stuck here, take a step back and reread the blog post I made on “getting into state”

Okay, some examples of spontaneous openers….. (remember, spontaneity requires a degree of creativity, which is pretty implicit in the definition of the word itself)

EYE-CONTACT is so underutilized by newbies, when you initially walk into a club (assuming your passive value is intact) scan the club for girls that are giving the visual cue to approach them. If a girl gives you solid contact, that’s an invitation to approach. Don’t forget to mix in some fun BT gambits to loosen up the interaction. Few nights back, this cutie in a blue dress gave me the protocol smile and eye contact. I slightly cocked my head sideways, smiled back at her, and gave her a reverse peace sign. Immediately she giggles, and then I move in for a fist pound. BAM, I’m in set, buying temperature is already warm and her guard is completely down. No hesitation, no approach anxiety, but rather, just capitalizing in the small window of opportunity given to me.

Clubs are pretty crowded places and often times you’ll be bumping into people and when its really cramped, I swear there were times I’ve in inadvertently hit 2^nd base with passerby’s. Again… ALWAYS look for the eye contact. Okay, so this opener definitely requires some ridiculous PLAYFUL calibration and is a bit of a higher investment opener.

I’m in a crowded spot with a girl passing by me to get to the bar. Girl totally rubs up on me.

Me: *Give her a funny smirk*, “Seriously?”

Her: “ What?”

Me: “You need to quit rubbin your boobs on me, it’s seriously inappropriate for someone you haven’t met yet”

Her: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry”

Me:  *Delivered in a comedic blunt fashion, think Steve Carrell* “Well, I mean, they’re pretty big so, I’m not terribly pissed, you should get them deflated or like….. a pushDOWN bra if they make them”

Her: *busts out laughing*

Me: “Anyways, not to be rude, I’m Kevin, you are?”

So in the example above, it was very playful and was framed to where she was the “bad guy” or the aggressor and I’m in the victim which definitely plays in my favor since girls are always getting picked up in the lamest ways and they’re on defense. Again…. Same motif, just a playful opener delivered spontaneously. So while, I don’t have a name for this opener (the boob brush up opener?), it’s definitely very unique to a given situation and I hope you guys can at least see some sort of semblance to a pattern in these previous two examples. I’ll use this opener quite often and of course you can swap out the verbiage to fit the context accordingly. Used this opener at least 3 times at our Opera Party, crowded as HELL that night.