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I meant to make this a part of the last post I had on approach anxiety, but it just turned out to be way too long for a single post.

So here’s the paramount question that I’ll see that comprises about 33% of all posts out there. “Okay, great, I’m finally in set with, I made the approach, I’m scared shitless, what do I do now”.

So essentially, once you’ve opened a set, then what do you do afterwards?

First and foremost, I don’t want to sound condescending because this was a question that I originally had, and in retrospect, I feel it was a little naïve of me to ask such a question.

The equivalent in tennis terms would be: “Okay, I just hit my serve, it went in, how do I win the point now?”. This is where your situational awareness and experience come into play and it’s those two factors that will ultimately make you a successful PUA.

I mean, if you really think about it, what you’re asking is, “how do I do the rest of the pick up now that I’ve opened”.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is to adjust your expectations. A lot of PUA’s expect to come and just apply a few principles and to automatically become good at pick up, which most certainly is NOT the case. I’ll see a ton of guys sit on the sidelines and do absolutely nothing because they don’t “have all the concepts”.

They call it “pick up artist” for a reason, to some degree, it requires intuition and creativity based on your own personal judgment and reasoning.

That being said, if you don’t know what to do once you’ve opened, just do it. What I will provide here are some general guidelines and quite anecdotes that I think will help you through this stage.

Understand that this is probably the toughest stage to work past, it’s tough enough getting over the anxiety as is, but to get over that and get punished and get negative reinforcement for a decent period of time, that’s difficult. If you can work through this part of your game, the rest is MUCH easier IMO.

Okay, so let’s bring it back to your objective improvement. So you’ve opened the set, now what? If you follow the ABC’s model, you’re technically in the B phase (buying temperature) or take it from the Venusian Arts Approach in lames terms: just come into a set with higher energy.

The goal in this stage of the pick up is to exude a higher amount of energy and enthusiasm than your target set. Again, in lamens terms without the pickup jargon, people are going out to have fun, so how can you provide them more fun and ergo, have them wanting to keep you in the set instead of blowing you out?

I remember working with Lovedrop on set with the VH1 show and the first lesson he taught us was probably THE MOST important thing I’ve learned with regards with pickup.

Whatever comes out of your mouth is so miniscule compared to the presentation, as a matter of fact, in psychology, in terms of what another person will pick up, it’s broken down 93%/7%. A person will pick up 93% of your body language, voice intonation, enthusiasm, etc, and 7% is actually attributed to your verbiage. The VA crew used to play a game where they would go out and try and one up each other by taking what the other person said and making it sound more interesting via voice intonation and body gestures

Mystery made a pretty good demonstration of this on the first episode of PUA2. He picked up a girl talking about googlemaps, literally, no joke.

So before you proceed any further with your pickup and you’re stuck at this phase, one thing I would definitely recommend you work on is your overall enthusiasm, which really isn’t even entirely pick up related.

This is something you’ll learn in sales or public speaking courses and in my opinion is something that is absolutely pertinent to pick up.

There are plenty of resources before you. I haven’t taken a Dale Carnagie course, but I’m sure one of those would be quite helpful, they’re also taught in most bootcamps including the ABC’s bootcamp where there is heavy emphasis on that portion.

So you’ve, gotten over your AA, great…. Next step, learn how to intrigue the set you’re in. I wish I could give you at least a brief outline on how to do this, but it’s such a detailed and comprehensive portion in it of itself. Plus, teaching voice intonation & body language is something that is much more effective when taught in person. They write books on how to present yourself. A couple I would recommend:

“The Exceptional Presenter”
“How to Win Friends and Influence People”
“Unlimited Power”

These are just a few to get you started, once you plow through these, you’ll realize how much they impact other parts of your life, in addition to pick up. Put the work in and get this part of life handled and it’ll pay off in huge dividends to all aspects of your life.