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I’ve honestly come to the conclusion that approach anxietyis by and far  the biggest killers ofmost PUA’s. That being said, I feel that if most people could simply getover  this hump, the rest of pick upreally wouldn’t be that difficult.

Okay, so I understand how it feels, you’ve just stepped footinto the club, it’s loud, there are drunk people everywhere, it’s dark andsomewhat musty and it seems like everyone in the club is having an amazing timeexcept for you. You see a two set of girls out in the corner of the bar thatyou make your target. You sit there for a second or two and try to muster upthe balls to do it…. You pause and rethink your gameplan…… you keep pausing….okay now it’s become weird and pulling the trigger is 5 times more difficultthan it was just a few seconds ago. You decide not to approach the set and yougo to the bar and order a drink and putz around some more.

That was my typical night when I first started and I knowthat a LOT of guys fall into this category.

In sarging with the best PUA’s in the world, they all haveone thing in common, they can all approach with absolutely no hesitancy. TakeMatador as an example, he genuinely does NOT care when he goes out. It’s jutset, set, set, set, set! Whether or not he enoys it or is impartial to it, hecan do it consistently.

I remember one first night at a bootcamp. I just recallbeing so utterly nervous that people would dislike me or I just wouldn’t hookany sets. Oddly enough, to my liking, I found that most sets were veryreceptive to me and  that people werejust generally nice. I was honestly expecting people to be rude or laugh at me,but honestly, it didn’t turn out that way at all whatsoever.

It really hit me that, almost a little too much common-sensefor my own good. People are pretty nice for the most part. Of course you’llcome across a person or two that’s going to be rude, but that’s justinevitable.

That’s the first step in managing your AA, just go into afew sets and try keeping a conversation up, perhaps it doesn’t hook, but that’sokay, you’ll realize that people are NOT rude and that it’s not scaryapproaching sets.

Another big hurdle I see many guys failing to get over ismanaging their expectations. I’ll see PUAs that will approach three sets andnot hook one, suddenly he’s all droopy faced and just drinking alone at thebar. It happens,  NOT every set is goingto hook. There have been nights when I first started where I would go through10 sets and none would hook, of course my ratio’s are much better nowadays, butthat all came with practice.

When I first started out, I kept meticulous records ofeverything I did, how many sets hooked, how many #’s I got, what have you. Andweek after week, I noticed pretty consistent results with a little variancehere and there. Of course over  time Isaw improvement, but what I’m trying to convey here is to budget for yourlosses. Realize that you WILL get blown out of set and its just part of thegame. Now if you’re going 0/60 on hooking sets, obviously  you need to reassess.

When I first started pickup, with no experience, I wouldprobably hook 3 out of 10 sets and make some tangible progress. Nowadays, I canhook about 7-8/10 sets and if  I’m reallyon my A game and in state, I’ll have nights where I can hook just aboutanything.

 Put everything into perspective and it’ll make it mucheasier on yourself emotionally.