I wanted to bring some light to a topic that I feel is kindof a grey area in pick up and nobody has to ever seem to have a good answer to.
When I first got into pick up, the types of advice that Iwould loathe so much:
“Just be yourself”
“Be confident”
“Be charismatic”
When I hear someone say that, it really makes my blood boil,if they had said nothing it would have been to the efficacy.
Then when I got into the pick up arts, I remember distinctlycoming to the same problem. I remember distinctly overcoming my approachanxiety and I could now finally approach without getting too nervous andpissing my pants. It took me roughly 3 weeks of going out consistently and Ifelt like I was still at square one and I couldn’t hook a set for the life ofme. I mean, what good was getting over approach anxiety If girls still found medry and uninteresting?
This is what pick up REALLY is, learning how to beinteresting, learning how to story tell, learning how to utilize differenttypes of humor at different points in the conversation. This ONLY comes withexperience and IMO is the only place of your game that you cannot expedite withtactics, it’s something you have to experiment with via trial and error totruly form your “style”.
I’ll have guys ask me all the time to give them BT gambitsand ideas for making girls laugh, and while I’m more than happy to lend out mypersonal arsenal, I do it hesitantly, because they’re congruent to ME. Iremember the first couple times going out, I tried telling using the spin moveand telling Mystery’s stripper story and it just came out horribly incongruent,because quite frankly, I just thought the material was trivial and stupid.
Okay…. So enough with the whining, how do we get to the nextlevel. One man’s work shines above the rest here and what do you know, he’salso the most mainstream. If you’re stuck here at this part of the game and youjust can’t seem to be “interesting”, look into David Deangelo’s material.Luckily being on the show, we had access to a ton of material so I perused asmuch of it as I needed. I took notes and I constantly field tested these ideasout. I found about a dozen tips/tricks that I found to my liking and if you’ve studied the materialtoo, you’ll find me spitting it out word for word, but hey, it works. It getsattention, it makes people laugh, and most importantly, it gets me results.
So what’s the magic bullet to becoming interesting andcharismatic? Practice…. Practice and constant re-evaluation. Get used towriting field reports, this is why APB and I stress it so much to write fieldrepots, you’ll remember lines/routines that you used that night that you foundsuccessful and if you just simply write it down, the rate of sticking in yourmemory goes up exponentially. Remember, when you’re running pickup, you’rerunning the exact same interaction over and over again, you’ll see the same obstacles,same patterns, and you’ll find yourself reusing jokes and reusing stories overand over again, and before you know it you’ll have your own rendition of a“Mystery Stripper Story” that you tell over and over again to DHV yourself.
Nobody said you would just “get it” over night, if you goout consistently for a few to several months, I genuinely believe that ANYONEcan fine tune this part of their game and really, this is the bulk of pickup.Once you have a good sense of situational awareness and great delivery andenthusiasm, the rest of the puzzle will fall into place
Had a chat with a client today and I thought I've been meaning to get this off my chest but it just keeps slipping my mind for whatever reason.
"Perception is Reality"
-Mystery
People read that quote and while it makes sense to them at face value, very few guys actually heed the advice and many fail to realize how big a detriment low perceived value can be to their game.
Everytime I log onto The Venusian Arts board, I see the exact same post OVER and OVER again.
"I tried Mystery's push/pull tactics and the girl blew me out and thought I was wierd"
"I tried negging and ignoring this girl and she never came back"
"I tried xyz opener and still got blown out"
All of these guys have the EXACT same problem. It has absolutely nothing to do with the verbiage and EVERYTHING to do with their perceived value. Let me explain.....
I'm pretty convinced that girls have eyes in the back of their hands, perhaps on their ears and the top of their heads to. They see just about everything you do. If you've been wallflowering for the past 5 minutes, they make note of that. It's been psychologically proven, if they can sniff out non-verbal cues 4x better than men can. If you've spent the last 10 minutes mustering up the balls and you sound slightly nervous, she'll know and she'll blow you out of set mercilessly. That's the great part of night club game compared to social circle game, the feedback you get is entirely accurate and you'll find out where you stand after you first night out.
Mystery calls it social proof, call it whatever you want, but essentially what I'm getting at is that you need to be VERY aware of your perceived value when you walk in a club.
1. Are you well dressed, do you look like a guy that gets laid or do you look disheveled and like you just got done playing 8 hours of World of Warcraft? Did you take care of your hair? Did you remove any excess hair and keep your nails trim? Is you acne wicked bad?
2. How's your body language? Are you slouching? Are you smiling? What does your current facial expression say about your current mental status?
3. Who did you roll into the club with? Did you roll into the club a bunch of lame guys or did you bring 3 gorgeous women to the venue?
4.Who are you talking to? Are you having a good time? Are you actually ADDING fun/value to other sets?
What kind of picture to paint in the girls mind before you even approach her. Are you a guy that's even worth talking to? If the answer is no, then it's time to take a step back. If you were trying to sell your car, you'd get it cleaned, vacuumed, and waxed would you not? Well this is your body we're talking here, let's get ourselves in the best presentable shape before we try selling ourselves.
So next time a girl doesn't pay attention to you or thinks your weird, don't blame her or call her a bitch for it. Like Neil say's, it's all feedback, don't take it personally. She doesn't despise you as a person, she just didn't like what was presented to her in your approach. Dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, and try again.