Kevin Feng from VH1 The Pick Up Artist 2
http://blog.kevinfengvh1pickupartist.com
The K-Feng Chronicles
Need to contact me? My office number is 1-(888) 689-GAME (4263) [10AM-4PM PST]. Syndicate
Kevin Feng from VH1 Pick Up Artist Season 2
Thoughts on Dance/Phone Game
Thoughts on Dance Game...........
I do get this inquiry a lot and one of my longer term clients brought it up out of bitter frustration. He was out sarging one night with a natural friend (in all fairness, he's of a foreign background and has a bit of a thick accent, so the game has been a bit of a struggle for him.) and he's trying his best to open sets and get #'s/kisses and what have you. His friend doesn't open sets, rather he just goes straight to the dance floor and he's gaming girls by just grinding up on them. Turns out he took one of the girls home that night and it leaves my client bitterly frustrated.
In my opinion, this is definitely a fluke, unless the guy is extremely good looking and he's being very aggressive, this tactic DEFINITELY will not work for the average PUA. This is the same reason Kosmo almost got booted in the first season, he was relying strictly on his break dancing. So anyway, I calm my client down and I graciously ask him to go out with the guy again and see if he can repeat the results because for the record, I've never met a good PUA that only relies on dancing and for some reason, I can't picture Mystery or Matador getting it down on the dance floor.
Anyways, I'm not here to say that dancing is a bad thing. I mean, if you really think about it, it's a socially acceptable way of dry humping a girl you just met in public, doesn't really get much better than that. I'll be the first to admit that my dance game is awful and I rely strictly on my social repertoire, but I do plan on taking some hip hop classes eventually as I do think it'll help my game in the long run.
Long story short, add some dance game and use it a supplement, but not as your primary means of meeting women.
Thoughts on Phone Game.........
I remember when I first got in the game, one of the MOST frustrating things was having girls flake out on me, every time I got a flake, it seriously felt like a hand came out of my handset and backhanded me, total shot to my ego. I would also micromanage the hell out of my texting, I would wait exactly x minutes before I texted back and I put WAYYY more thought than was necessary in each text. It's only human nature to be results oriented and well you always assign fault to the negative emotion at the moment. For the longest time, I was blaming my phone game, I thought there was something wrong with my text messages or there was something wrong with me when I was on the phone that really messed up the interaction.
Luckily, I had some good mentors pushing me forward at the time and at the peak of my frustration of this sticking point, I sat down with Knack (Coach at Venusian Arts) and he clarified two things for me. First off, my phone close tactic was a little too forceful, I won't go over the routine in specific, but it was definitely abrasive. Also, my comfort game was definitely on the weak side and any pick up guru will tell you that the game is won in comfort. So once we had those two things in place, my flakes went down drastically.
In anycase, especially for the newbies out there, in terms of where you're focusing your effort, definitely focus on your in field performance, if you do well there, it really facilitates escalation from there on out.
Keeping Your Head Above Water
Hey Guys,
I've been coaching for a while now at the ABCs of Attraction and I really wanted to share a tip that I think will REALLY transform your game.
No..... it's not a routine, it's not a magic trick, or a line or anything like that, it's actually something WAY better and will ACTUALLY transform your game.
As an athlete, it's always baffled me when I see products like "Carve Abs In Your Bed", or the "New P90X training system" or some magic remedy for being overweight. It's always been so simple to me and there is absolutely NO substitute for going to the gym everyday and just dieting properly. I had a friend who started working out with me as of late and after our workout, he's eating pizza. He's not a dumb guy by any means, he's in med school and academically speaking, probably one of the smartest guys I know. It just amazes me how the typical person can overlook simple details when it comes to their long term development.
Aside from taking a bootcamp and perhaps reading a book or two, there really isn't much you need, just your spare time, perhaps some money for a new wardrobe and active participation in the forums.
So, what will make us good at pick up? I'm a firm believer that a game plan needs to be simple, otherwise it won't work, and well, this is well exemplified in field. When I was on the set of VH1, and I'm sure that it had more to do with the producers than Mystery/Matador, but they taught us tactics for 8 hours straight, objectively speaking, it was just information overload and well, speaking for myself, I did absolutely awful that night and got eliminated.
With a work, if you do X amount of sets at X amount of reps and you gradually increase the weight over time, you'll get bigger, it's as simple as that, there's no magic pill or gimmick, that's all you need to do.
9/10 guys get into the game and very rarely do they gauge their progress, they simply go out 5-6 times, try a few openers, realize that getting rejected sucks and they retreat to the comfort of where they first started.
When I first got started, I realized it was going to suck, and well, it did......... and there were some nights where I really wanted to quit, but I just treated it like a work out.
For the first few weeks in pick up, I did nothing but open 10 sets a night, didn't matter if they went well, as long as I did it and got over my approach anxiety, then I completed my goal.
Over time.... I would "increase the weight", so after a month, once my AA became very manageable, my new goal would be to hook 5 sets in a given night. To keep myself in check, I always went out with a wing and if I didn't hit my goal, he got paid off. So for every set I missed, I paid him $40. It's funny how you won't make an approach for the shear need of passing on your genetics, but as soon as you assign a monetary incentive to it, well, you'll see it through 10/10 times.
I truly believe that if every guy could get out consistently and do 6-8 sets a day in conjunction with a field report, 90% of guys would reach their goals in a timely fashion. So instead of focusing on what opener you're going to use tonight or that new peacocking accessory, really focus on making sure that you hit your desired goal for the night. If you take care of today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
2009 Certified Bootcamp Reviews
Well, it's the end of 2009...... damn time flies.....
I want to say thanks to all those that I've had a chance to work with. For all the guys I worked with, it was equally my pleasure in being able to partake in the progression of your journey.
Here's the 2010 and I wish you guys all the luck in achieving your goals in the coming year.
"To people who are thinking of making a difference in their life, I would say ABCs of Attraction has best instructors who have been in your shoes. Having so much variety in their styles but being able to follow the same structure (ABCDEF) is just beyond amazing. Kevin was extremely patient and you can ask him anything and everything. Kevin did give up every ounce of his energy and for that I am so very grateful because I do honestly see myself as more of a man than I have ever been."
"The whole weekend was a bit surreal. I mean I was hanging with a bunch of PUA's that were on TV and they were normal, fun guys. The in-field portions of the workshop were definitely my favorite. On Sunday night I actually felt kinda weird not being in a bar/club opening sets!"
To recap, I really recommend Kevin and Greg as coaches and the PUA All-Star Workshop they offered. Given the cost of other bootcamps, this was a bargain. If they offer another one like it, I will definitely take it. Can’t wait to try the material they taught me on my own.... The PUA All-Star Workshop gets a big thumbs up from me!
I gained a lot from Kevin’s ability to read people and share his insights. He could tell when I was nervous and anxious and fixed it (he sent me to open set after set until AA was gone). His feedbacks were really helpful as he knows what goes inside the mind of a beginner.
Kevin is an all around Jack of all Trades, able to effectively use different styles and techniques. This allows him to be flexible and accommodate any situation. He is also a master of the fundamentals. In sports, they say that fundamentals wins games. Well, in game, fundamentals get you laid.
To anyone who is considering bootcamp, seriously, this is THE transformational experience and something you will look back on and consider it as the turning point in your life.Thank you again for Johnny and Kevin for making the bootcamp filled with fun and excitement and, of course, life-changing.
-Kevin Feng
Approaching the 9/10's
Definitely been recurring question for the intermediates and even the beginners that are looking to broaden their horizon.
I forget who says it but the PUA approach for the ridiculously hot chicks is that they're actually easier to approach because they never get approached and therefore they''ll be more lenient. I will definitely have to respectfully disagree with this.
Having 9/10's at the venue is definitely a great thing, just ask your pivots, there's always some level of jealousy going on there because now they're even lower on the totem pole.
So first thing..... let's not put the pussy on the pedestal here, of course this is a over-generalization or perhaps its just my personal biased that's developed from living in L.A for a year, but for the most part, there's definitely a negative correlation between looks and charm/wit/social intelligence. I know it's difficult/intimidating these sets to begin with, but if you put it all in the proper perspective, it definitely makes it easier. After you've approached enough of these sets, you'll realize that most 9/10's aren't that much different than the fat single child who's been fed a silver spoon his/her entire life. Gorgeous women have that power, they know that they can make men do just about everything for them and of course, most of them exploit this. So instead of lining up and being that next ass-kisser, take a different approach.
That's the key thing to consider, no matter what the set is, you always want to offer something unique, something different, you want to offer them a reason to keep listening; think of it like a sale. For the 10's, the ones that KNOW that they're hot and that they're sh*t, I would make a case that just going plain direct wouldn't be that effective, only because they'll mentally respond with:
"Well no crap, this isn't news to me, 9 guys have already told me that tonight"
Being high energy and fun is EXTREMELY important. This is something unique, a good bulk of guys can't offer (especially AFC's) can't offer this because they're too nervous or whatever. So... not breaking precedence here, you want to offer her something different/unique and that could be your ticket in.
"Well no crap, this isn't news to me, 9 guys have already told me that tonight"
Being high energy and fun is EXTREMELY important. This is something unique, a good bulk of guys can't offer (especially AFC's) can't offer this because they're too nervous or whatever. So... not breaking precedence here, you want to offer her something different/unique and that could be your ticket in.
So here's an example of a pick up I did in my last bootcamp
Something I learned from Johnny in one of my first bootcamps was to be very alpha and direct when it comes to conducting yourself at the bar. Back when I was coaching back in Boston, I was trying to order a drink and of course, being the complete ass (of course only in field) that I am, I totally cut in front of everyone including this super gorgeous HB9 brunette.
HB9: Hey, I'm in line here
Me: Yeah, I can see that *give her a giant cheesedick smile and turn back around*
HB9: Well I was in front of you
Me: Umm.... actually, you WERE in front of me, past tense. And now, I'm in FRONT of you. I like being on top
HB9: *laughs with a little bit of frustration*
Me: Seriously, like, what would you do anyway, like throw a box of tampons at my head? I mean, you're a chick, you can't even vote in most countries. (conveyed extremely playfully)
HB9: what??? I would soooo kick your ass
Me: In what? Pilates?
So we banter back forth for a little longer and I actually let her slap me once, which then of course gave me an excuse to smack her in the ass.
So there you go, I gave her something different, I wasn't the 23984039th guy to walk to up to her begging for her attention. I gave her a playful argument and some playful drama instead and for her, it's a splash of variety.
In anycase, I was working with a client that night, so I had to redirect my attention, but that set wouldn't have been to difficult to close out.
Something I learned from Johnny in one of my first bootcamps was to be very alpha and direct when it comes to conducting yourself at the bar. Back when I was coaching back in Boston, I was trying to order a drink and of course, being the complete ass (of course only in field) that I am, I totally cut in front of everyone including this super gorgeous HB9 brunette.
HB9: Hey, I'm in line here
Me: Yeah, I can see that *give her a giant cheesedick smile and turn back around*
HB9: Well I was in front of you
Me: Umm.... actually, you WERE in front of me, past tense. And now, I'm in FRONT of you. I like being on top
HB9: *laughs with a little bit of frustration*
Me: Seriously, like, what would you do anyway, like throw a box of tampons at my head? I mean, you're a chick, you can't even vote in most countries. (conveyed extremely playfully)
HB9: what??? I would soooo kick your ass
Me: In what? Pilates?
So we banter back forth for a little longer and I actually let her slap me once, which then of course gave me an excuse to smack her in the ass.
So there you go, I gave her something different, I wasn't the 23984039th guy to walk to up to her begging for her attention. I gave her a playful argument and some playful drama instead and for her, it's a splash of variety.
In anycase, I was working with a client that night, so I had to redirect my attention, but that set wouldn't have been to difficult to close out.
Getting Passed Canned Material
I think every PUA goes through the exact same phase in the early/mid stages of their career.
Everyone starts out the same..... you pick up "The Game" and you think to yourself "holy crap, I can't wait to get out and try the best friends test, I can't wait to try this opinion openers" and then when you get out in field and try this stuff out for yourself it doesn't go quite as smoothly as originally anticipated but nonetheless you still find yourself making some progress, getting a kiss/two, and a phone # here and there, the results may not be consistent but at least they're better than they were beforehand.
Now comes the second phase, you're sick of getting spotty results and more importantly, you're SICK of using canned routines and material. What happened to just "being yourself" and genuinely enjoying the process.
So you have two main school's of thought, the canned approach and the natural approach. I'm not going to say that one's better than the other and both methods have gurus to back them.
Canned - Mystery, Cajun, etc
Natural - David D, David Wygant, etc
Personally, I'm a bigger fan of the natural approach, because while I do appreciate pick up as an artform, I also have a life and when Friday rolls around, the last thing I want to do is give yet ANOTHER performance. I just want to unwind, and have some fun.
In developing my "natural" game, the two guys that I would attribute a lot of my inspiration towards would be Gareth Jones, one of our certified coaches, and also Joe D. from Season 1. Both of these guys are just naturally witty and very fun to be around. Nothing they say is premeditated, they're GENUINELY being themselves and enjoying it and their personalities are naturally attractive?
So how do we get to this point? Although it isn't an ABC's product, I do strongly recommend reading "Double Your Dating" by David D, learning to be charming/charistmatic, witty, enthusiastic isn't something you develop overnight and until you've become Dale Carnagie yourself, there's no reason you should stop working upwards.
Where's a good place to start? One important concept is to find a character to mimic. You can waste a lot of time memorizing lines or specific jokes, but it isn't the joke itself, but rather, the character to which the joke is associated to. It's as simple as finding a celebrity, stand up comedian, or character that you like and can see yourself personifying. For me, I really enjoy Louis C.K and find The Colbert Report absolutely hilarious. I may not be good at being inventive or creating my own stuff but I do pride myself in my ability to jack other people's work and make it my own. Why reinvent the wheel? Just take it and use it for yourself. I figure if these guys can make millions laugh, I can re-adapt their content to my own life and all I have to do is impress a 3 set tops.
Try that on for size............... and see out in field.
Getting that X factor
I wanted to bring some light to a topic that I feel is kindof a grey area in pick up and nobody has to ever seem to have a good answer to.
When I first got into pick up, the types of advice that Iwould loathe so much:
“Just be yourself”
“Be confident”
“Be charismatic”
When I hear someone say that, it really makes my blood boil,if they had said nothing it would have been to the efficacy.
Then when I got into the pick up arts, I remember distinctlycoming to the same problem. I remember distinctly overcoming my approachanxiety and I could now finally approach without getting too nervous andpissing my pants. It took me roughly 3 weeks of going out consistently and Ifelt like I was still at square one and I couldn’t hook a set for the life ofme. I mean, what good was getting over approach anxiety If girls still found medry and uninteresting?
This is what pick up REALLY is, learning how to beinteresting, learning how to story tell, learning how to utilize differenttypes of humor at different points in the conversation. This ONLY comes withexperience and IMO is the only place of your game that you cannot expedite withtactics, it’s something you have to experiment with via trial and error totruly form your “style”.
I’ll have guys ask me all the time to give them BT gambitsand ideas for making girls laugh, and while I’m more than happy to lend out mypersonal arsenal, I do it hesitantly, because they’re congruent to ME. Iremember the first couple times going out, I tried telling using the spin moveand telling Mystery’s stripper story and it just came out horribly incongruent,because quite frankly, I just thought the material was trivial and stupid.
Okay…. So enough with the whining, how do we get to the nextlevel. One man’s work shines above the rest here and what do you know, he’salso the most mainstream. If you’re stuck here at this part of the game and youjust can’t seem to be “interesting”, look into David Deangelo’s material.Luckily being on the show, we had access to a ton of material so I perused asmuch of it as I needed. I took notes and I constantly field tested these ideasout. I found about a dozen tips/tricks that I found to my liking and if you’ve studied the materialtoo, you’ll find me spitting it out word for word, but hey, it works. It getsattention, it makes people laugh, and most importantly, it gets me results.
So what’s the magic bullet to becoming interesting andcharismatic? Practice…. Practice and constant re-evaluation. Get used towriting field reports, this is why APB and I stress it so much to write fieldrepots, you’ll remember lines/routines that you used that night that you foundsuccessful and if you just simply write it down, the rate of sticking in yourmemory goes up exponentially. Remember, when you’re running pickup, you’rerunning the exact same interaction over and over again, you’ll see the same obstacles,same patterns, and you’ll find yourself reusing jokes and reusing stories overand over again, and before you know it you’ll have your own rendition of a“Mystery Stripper Story” that you tell over and over again to DHV yourself.
Nobody said you would just “get it” over night, if you goout consistently for a few to several months, I genuinely believe that ANYONEcan fine tune this part of their game and really, this is the bulk of pickup.Once you have a good sense of situational awareness and great delivery andenthusiasm, the rest of the puzzle will fall into place
Staying Alive as a New Guy
I'm making this posts for a few guys that I'm currently working with and just starting out.
I really hated beginners hell, it was so difficult and I really wish there was some way to stagger all emotional downswing to different parts of my game. I remember walking into clubs for the first few weeks of my career and making progress just seemed to hopeless and success was just this remote dream.
Here's how my most typical set would go..... I'd approach, probably give an opinion opener, make awkward conversation for about 2-3 minutes and know that the entire time she wasn't interested, walk out of the set and feel totally wierd seeing her around for the rest of the night. I'd do this with several sets the entire night and I felt like everyone was watching me. What a crappy feeling and it's definitely something I never want to go through ever again. It's kind of like studying for your SAT's or MCAT, it just sucks, but you need to get through it.
But after a few months in when I had my A and B phase game intact, learning the rest was not that difficult.
A former client posted a blog post from Sinn's blog and one of the points he made was so dead on:
"The two biggest sticking points in Pick Up are Social Anxiety (AA) and Sexual Anxiety, Point Blank"
SOOOO True..... and unfortunately, IMO, the social anxiety is probably more difficult to get over because you're starting from scratch, have no foundation and little situational awareness.
So how do we stay alive in the first month or two? Simple..... we need to manage our expectations.
Most guys read "The Game" and they think, oh cool, some magic bullets and routines that will get me in the sack with a hot chick. As we've all experienced, it doesn't work that way and even for Neil Strauss himself, it took him roughly a year and a half to get good at the game.
You're just learning the ropes in the first month or two and there will be a lot of failures. Just picked up snowboarding recently and it's awful the first couple times out, you keep falling on your ass and you go home completely sore and its quite aggravating, but once you figure it out, it becomes fun/exhilarating. Unfortunately with pick up, takes more than a few days to figure out..... closer to a few months given its complexity, but its the same idea.
So in the first few months, just EMBRACE failure, expect it and approach a lot of sets and push them as far as you can, but if you walk home that night empty handed, well then that's okay, because you did gain is experience, one less day in beginners hell. Look at it that way and you'll be out of that zone much quicker and pick up will be more fun, as opposed to a chore like it is for many of you starters out there.
So for you guys that are struggling, keep pushing, keep plowing and I assure you that one of these days it'll just "click" and it's like seeing the matrix as they all say.
Perceived Value
Had a chat with a client today and I thought I've been meaning to get this off my chest but it just keeps slipping my mind for whatever reason.
"Perception is Reality"
-Mystery
People read that quote and while it makes sense to them at face value, very few guys actually heed the advice and many fail to realize how big a detriment low perceived value can be to their game.
Everytime I log onto The Venusian Arts board, I see the exact same post OVER and OVER again.
"I tried Mystery's push/pull tactics and the girl blew me out and thought I was wierd"
"I tried negging and ignoring this girl and she never came back"
"I tried xyz opener and still got blown out"
All of these guys have the EXACT same problem. It has absolutely nothing to do with the verbiage and EVERYTHING to do with their perceived value. Let me explain.....
I'm pretty convinced that girls have eyes in the back of their hands, perhaps on their ears and the top of their heads to. They see just about everything you do. If you've been wallflowering for the past 5 minutes, they make note of that. It's been psychologically proven, if they can sniff out non-verbal cues 4x better than men can. If you've spent the last 10 minutes mustering up the balls and you sound slightly nervous, she'll know and she'll blow you out of set mercilessly. That's the great part of night club game compared to social circle game, the feedback you get is entirely accurate and you'll find out where you stand after you first night out.
Mystery calls it social proof, call it whatever you want, but essentially what I'm getting at is that you need to be VERY aware of your perceived value when you walk in a club.
1. Are you well dressed, do you look like a guy that gets laid or do you look disheveled and like you just got done playing 8 hours of World of Warcraft? Did you take care of your hair? Did you remove any excess hair and keep your nails trim? Is you acne wicked bad?
2. How's your body language? Are you slouching? Are you smiling? What does your current facial expression say about your current mental status?
3. Who did you roll into the club with? Did you roll into the club a bunch of lame guys or did you bring 3 gorgeous women to the venue?
4.Who are you talking to? Are you having a good time? Are you actually ADDING fun/value to other sets?
What kind of picture to paint in the girls mind before you even approach her. Are you a guy that's even worth talking to? If the answer is no, then it's time to take a step back. If you were trying to sell your car, you'd get it cleaned, vacuumed, and waxed would you not? Well this is your body we're talking here, let's get ourselves in the best presentable shape before we try selling ourselves.
So next time a girl doesn't pay attention to you or thinks your weird, don't blame her or call her a bitch for it. Like Neil say's, it's all feedback, don't take it personally. She doesn't despise you as a person, she just didn't like what was presented to her in your approach. Dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, and try again.
Our Good Little Friend: Plausible Deniability
Okay.... so I've been working with a client lately and i think this is something really important to bring up, it's regarding ethics and pickup since the two definitely will be having some clashes all throughout the game.
So I've been working with a client and right in the very beginning when I'm trying to outfit the man with some training wheels (canned material), he immediately spits it back at me and tell ms, "I can't do this, I can't lie to a girl". And at this point, I think to myself "are you kidding me". We actually spent 30 minutes going over ethics and the way in which we both treat people and by the end we did come to a meeting of minds.
So this client definitely falls under the "Nice Guy" category, he's entirely honest about everything and since he is slightly religious he has the hardest time lying, even if it's small.
I also have another client that has a slight reservation about his age. He's in his early thirties and while he looks like he's 25, he'll still tell younger girls that he's older and the response isn't favorable 9 times out of 10.
So before I dig too deep into the situation, I think its unianimously agreed to that women will lie to you, especially if you just met them. Half the time when they're "going to the bathroom" they're just trying to get away from you because you messed up your approach. Is that a lie? Technically yes. Is it justified? I'd say so, tactically it's a great passive-aggressive way of getting away from creepy guys.
So here, before you prod to deep into my personal ethics. I do believe that when it comes to close family and friends, you should always treat them with dignity and respect and do all those wonderful things that your mother taught you when you were 5. In cold approach pickup, not so much.
I always tell me clients to treat pick up the exact same way they were treat a job interview or a sale. If you've never lied or exaggerated in a job interview before, well then, you're lying right there, that or your currently undercompensated for your efforts. So by all means, when you're running a cold approach set, you owe absolutely nothing to the girl and she owes absolutely nothing to you, so by all means.... embellish and exaggerate all you want as long you have plenty of plausible deniability to provide backing.
Remember (especially if you're just starting out), you're here for one reason, you're here to learn game, not to meet best friends or a girlfriend for that matter. You're here to hone your skills so that when you finally see that cute girl at starbucks or at the gym, you'll know what to do instead of just walk past her.
Anyways, I'm not going to say that I'm jesus or that my ethics are absolutely perfect, but if you're really uptight about what you can and cannot say to a girl, you may want to re-evaluate before you proceed any further because you'll find yourself hitting obstacles that most guys won't and will be making it that much tougher for yourself.
And while I won't name names here, there is a guy from season 2 of the show that fits perfectly into this description and what do you know, he's made NO progress and is still a virgin despite the fact that he's been presented a world of knowledge and opportunity.
How Prepared Are You?
So for every guy out there, no matter where you are in your progression, I think you're bound to gain some insight from this blog post.
Let's be real here, running game is pretty difficult, there's so much going on around you and just thinking of what to say next and just being in the moment consumes pretty much the majority of your entire attention span.
I want to talk about two things here that I think will drastically increase the effectiveness of your game, I'm doing some financial analysis work at the moment here so pardon my metaphor, but let's try and reduce debt and increase equity.
Comparing me to the average guy, in terms of our attention and the amount of information we can process, it's limited and while my situational awareness is much higher than the average guy, that comes with experience. So the question is, where can we still add to our game and where can we eliminate clutter?
Eliminating Mental Clutter
I've definitely mentioned this a plethora times for newbies, but if you're still getting bad AA, then you should focus on that and nothing else. The first time I opened a set, it just seemed to overwhelming.
1. Be sure not to peck
2. Be sure to come in at high energy
3. Go in over the shoulder
4 . Apply Push Pull concepts
5. So on so forth.
The list was absolutely huge and in retrospect, I can definitely see why there was such little progress in my first couple weeks, I was trying to shove too much content down my throat. Again, ELIMINATE attention vampires, tackle each part of your game one piece at a time. It wasn't until Matador had me run that ridiculous opener for over 50 sets that I finally put my AA at ease.
I'm a firm believer in Neil Strauss's 20% rule, with every set that you do, work on pushing the set 20% farther than you're comfortable. On given night, you should be focusing on working on one or two specific sticking points, even if it comes at the expense of other parts of your game.
For example, when I started working on my D (direct interest) phase game, it was very difficult to hone without coming at the expense of my C phase (well, for at least for me personally). Approach Anxiety is pretty easy to chip away at, you can approach 15 sets in less than an hour whereas when you're trying to push your D phase game and you're following your system, you're only going to get to maybe 2-3 TOPS per night and it's very difficult to overcome your sexual anxiety if you don't rush your C phase game in attempts to getting closer to 5-6 sets in and start making those aggressive moves. So when you're still learning, don't be afraid to screw sets up, as long as you're LEARNING from them. If you screw up dozen kisses but gain situational awareness and overcome your sexual anxiety, it was totally worth it. Again, I had to eliminate a little clutter from my C phase game in order to ensure that my D phase game fell into place. Granted, your game won't be as solid in the short term, but in the long run, you're much better off, think of it as an initial investment.
Adding To Your Game
what are you doing to get prepared? Definitely read my previous post on getting into state. I used to play tennis pretty competitively and before every single match, there was at least two hours of preparation beforehand in which I would properly prep my diet, equipment, mental state, etc. A ton of PUAs I see will just roll out of their bed after watching 3 hours of television and start sarging. Your experience in the club is only as effective as you make it out to be. Really ask yourself before you go out:
1. Are you feeling energetic? Did you get proper rest the night before?
2. Did you take steps to get yourself in a good mood beforehand?
3. You got good looking girls and a good entourage rollin up with you?
4. When you got into the club, did you properly do your kickstart(warming up)?
4. When you got into the club, did you properly do your kickstart(warming up)?
5. Have you been actively increasing your passive value (wardrobe, working out)?
6. Have you been working on proper posture and body language so that it's autopilot infield?
While these things may not seem too important individually, if you've got your ducks lined up beforehand, it makes your job so much easier when you're out in field. Remember, pick up is a competitive sport, you really need to ask yourself what you've done so that you'll be able to exploit your competition.
